The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not new to alanon but its the first time in years that I have put my foot forward to try and work the program consistantly. I would say I'm past the first three steps but I've decided to do a worksheet I've found online for step one. I will be attending a local meeting tonight but I feel it will probably not work out due to it being at the local treatment center. I'm very nervous but I attended a meeting online and they suggested I get a sponsor to work the program. I'm looking for someone to help me along as they say. I've got the books and I'm doing the best I can. I'm hoping tonight's meeting works out but if it doesn't I will continue to attend online and try my best to do the steps as well as I can. I will say the program has helped me so much. I've just gotten so much lighter and I've got sticky notes everywhere to remind me of certain things and It's just given me a lot of stress free tools that I try to apply everyday. Any help is appreciated :)
((((Polene)))) Congratulations on the work you have done so far. Keep the focus on your and your program. What the fellowship enforced into my work is found at the closing statement of our meetings, "If you keep and open mind you will find help". I proved that honest and sure as I kept working the program on all levels and with my HP. I tried doing the program without a sponsor and after getting thru the fear of that dove in and asked of the elders for sponsor help and found it is remarkable how many angels HP has out there for us who keep me assured that I can and will recover. Keep coming back and don't project any fear of loss into your future. Learning to doubt myself was like a dna mark when I first got here. When in doubt??? don't ((((hugs))))
My ESH... is that steps one, two and three are best done in a group... I believe that some people are rushed into obtaining a sponsor far too soon.
Steps 4 thru 7 may need a sponsor. Here in NZ people might also go to a trusted person, paster, counsellor to do the middle steps. For me- it is really a matter of choice and convenience...
In a group like this MIP Alanon we can cherry-pick people we relate to well... many members will respond to a personal message, available on site...
"take what you like, and leave the rest"... Alanon closing...
Well I just got back from the meeting and it didn't work out.
I guess A.A and Alanon are held together and I didn't feel comfortable with that.
I feel very dumb for even showing up :(
Pol, please don't give up .. something will workout.
Hugs S :)
PS - I am of the mindset that all of the steps go better with a sponsor. :) I was missing mine today, sponsors and those relationships are such a blessing.
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
First, I too would not be comfortable if an AA meeting and an Alanon meeting were both held in the same room. Actually, this strikes my curiosity and I wonder if this would be conference approved or aligned with the alanon principles. However, that doesn't matter and would be a conversation for another time.
Second, I believe, and in my experience, I feel all of the steps would be better with a sponsor. Yes, of course it has to be the "right" sponsor, one with experience, insight, experience, who has been through the steps, worked the steps, worked the program, etc.
For me, my thinking, my experience, I can't imagine doing the steps without a sponsor. I think that part of the steps involve blind-spots, objectivity, insight and perspective, and in some respects, accountability. Personally, I can't see "getting" or should I say "realizing" or "obtaining" all of those things, without the involvement of "someone else" -- and the other part of this, for me, is the "something" or "someone" other than yourself, outside of yourself, etc.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
(((Pol))) - don't feel badly for going to a meeting seeking support and help. I had to go to 3 different meetings (groups) before I found one that felt good for me. We are all different and in my area, we have a variety of different meetings - Book Studies, Step Studies, Topic Meetings, Open Speaker Meetings, etc.
We do have joint meetings (AA & Al-Anon) combined and many here attend them. I have no issue with joint meetings but I am a member of both. What's awesome about recovery is we each get to define our journey based on our own needs with all the tools available. There is no wrong way to work the steps, get a sponsor, etc. - any action and effort is better than no action or effort. Every tool in recovery is intended to help us progress our path or journey --- not perfect. I've seen folks work steps with sponsors, I've seen others who work some with sponsor, clergy, alone, etc. And - since the steps are not a 'one and done' effort, (most of us work them over and over again seeking continued humility, growth, spiritual progress) I am still a supporter of any action and effort is better than no action or effort.
Keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
So Glad your Here, and for Me I was in Al-Anon for 2 years before I Found a Sponsor and that was Mostly Fear Based, I will say once I Took the leap of Faith, and Prayed to HP to guide to where I needed to be and Who I needed as a Sponsor for my Growth, My Program Grew even More...
Like "Iamhere" mentioned, ANY Effort in Recovery is a Step Forward, Coming here, Sharing your Story & your Experience, all great ways to get where we need to be...
I'm Sorry the Meeting was not what you had Hoped, but Please don't give up, many towns have Many different meetings, and until you find the one that Fits you... MIP Is a Great Place to Be :)
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