The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "Be gentle with yourself".
The author shares that this concept was a foreign one. What was familiar was striving for perfection and hating oneself when perfection was not achieved.
The author struggled to understand how to be gentle with themself until they pictured themself holding a small kitten, and imagining the feelings toward the kitten they would have. The author was then able to direct those feelings at themself.
Today's reminder: if i am being hard on marks, i can stop and remember that i deserve gentleness and understanding from myself. Being human is not a character defect! Today i will be gentle with my humanness
Today's quote: "the question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, value, and appreciate." John Ruskin
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Being gentle with myself is something i am still practicing. I have high standards and expectations for myself, and reminding myself to be gentle with myself when something doesn't go the way i think it should is something i do many times a day. I'm getting better at granting myself that same gentleness i gave to a kitten (i have 5 cats, so like the author, i can picture that kind of gentleness). I'm thankful to Al-Anon for showing me a gentler way of being with myself.
This week I've escaped the city and am enjoying the peacefulness of the woods. The peepers are singing to me, and despite the forecast of rain, I'm sure it is going to be a great day.
I hope you make today great!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
This is something I needed to hear today. I was outed for being less than perfect by a colleague. It was a humbling experience especially because I felt that I was surrounded by crazy and having a "normal" response.
I love the visual of offering myself the same gentleness that I would give to a kitten or a child.
I also think it would be helpful to carve more time for myself each day.
Great reminder Skorpi. I do believe when i entered program that I could be "gentle "with others however I was completely unaware of the inner dialogue that I used to beat myself up and keep me focused Alanon suggested that i keep the focus on myself and that is how I uncovered the negative inner voices that were constant and quite demeaning that i used on myself. I constantly judged myself, found me lacking, compared my life and actions to others etc and I was not kind to me So the suggestion to be gentle with myself was difficult to embrace but helped greatly. Today I remind myself to stay focused and be gentle
Thanks for your service have a great day.
Good morning MIP - thank you skorpi for your service and the daily. Love the shares and ESH above me too - thanks to all.
In looking back, I was just not very good to me before recovery. I don't believe it was an intentional neglect of self - it's just what I thoughts I was to be/do. I too was gentle with others and concerned about their lives/health/well-being. Simply put, recovery helped me understand that I am the most value to others when I am in my best skin - self-love and self-care are extremely important for a healthy life/spirit.
I love that quote and it's so, so true. I can see me before recovery in the former statement, and am growing into the latter as I work this program as best I can.
I too needed to hear this today - I've got a difficult event to attend and want to stay present and of optimal service to others - doing some spiritual push-ups this AM. (((Hugs))) to all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
"What was familiar was striving for perfection and hating oneself when perfection was not achieved."
THIS. OH, SO THIS!
Thank you for your service Skorpi, and thanks to all above who shared their wisdom.
I am in almost constant battle with my inner voice, but I am more aware of it's belittling tone now. Many times I am able to tell myself, "Stop that, you are only human, and that is perfectly alright!"
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you, Skorpi. "Be gentle with yourself" is something my sponsor said to me, and I was so surprised to hear that. I wasn't expecting that attitude when I began working the steps. To me it is an example of how changed attitudes aided my recovery.
Thank you Skorpi and everyone else for the ESH's. Good grief! Even as I began to read I was worried about judging myself too harshly with others ESH's .......I too found it easy to be kind and gentle to others but the critical brain against self is still a huge challenge. I am taking 3 steps forward and 2 back......which means at least there is 1 step in the right direction? It's so hard to ask mu hubs for help and I find myself wondering if somehow the back injury is part of a greater plan........humility with acceptance? Feeling I am asking too much as busy as he is with work? Thank you for the post! Wow, I should have read this one this morning.....I was too busy beating myself up for struggling with driving thru the city ROFL!!
