The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about how many of us have spent time regretting things we have done or said, held on to anger, and wished for a different past or reality. The writer mentions that reading Alanon literature with consistency began to change his/her perspective and living in the present became the new reality. Specifically, one page from an Alanon pamphlet is mentioned and this reminded me of times when it was helpful for me to focus on one slogan for a day.
For me the slogans have been extremely helpful whenever I feel overwhelmed because they are concise reminders that each day is our chance to live in the present and participate with confidence in our own lives. Those days of feeling overwhelmed were also made a bit easier when I focused on a small and manageable amount of time-for this next 1/2 hour I will read, in the next hour I will focus on this slogan, etc
As is typical for our region we went right from winter to summer last week; I think today we can look ahead to some genuine spring weather! I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday.
Good Morning Mary This is indeed a great reminder Staying in the moment and in the day, leaving the past, regrets and all in the past and not projecting into the future is a profound way to live, I too found the slogans extremely helpful and still do. I was so pleased when I discovered that "Let go and Let God" really embraced the first 3 Steps. and" How important is it' helped me to stop beating myself up until I had worked the 4 and 5th Step Thanks for your service
Good morning Mary and Betty - happy Sunday to one and all.....thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your ESH and shares. All I know is the various tools of recovery - daily readers, literature, slogans, meetings, fellowship - all help me to stay centered and grounded. I am grateful that living this program has allowed me to leave the past behind, forgive self and others and just accept what is, in this moment, on this day.
The steps freed me greatly from the wreckage of the past and replaced many previous coping skills and thinking ways with fresh perspective. I vividly remember rolling my eyes over many of the slogans at first and today, I rely on several/many each day to keep me centered and balanced. Change is good now and that's way different than how I viewed it before.
Make it a great day - off to a meeting shortly....(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning Mary! Thank you for posting this AM. I have so many favorite slogans that I fall back on whenever I get caught up in self pity, self righteousness, or some form of pain from my past. It's freeing to know that, even when I neglect to work program for months at a time, that the slogans and steps and 'just for todays' will always be there waiting for me. Whenever I come back to working my program, I immediately start to feel more comfortable in my own skin, more at peace with 'what is', and more willing to do whatever it takes to maintain that serenity.
Hugs to everyone today! Happy Sunday!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Thank you for the post. Yes the slogans.... really they are lifesavers... so simple yet so helpful. I wasted a lot of precious time living in the past or focusing on the future, wishing things were different. One day at a time works the best for me. Have a great day everyone.
Thanks for posting the synopsis of Hope For Today reading. I have recently moved from my original home group in recovery to a new area, and am using MIP as a sounding board while in transition. I appreciate your daily posts on Hope For Today. After reading my own daily reader, I wanted to share some of my own experiences related to the reading. I know we're not supposed to post the entire reading, but I hope it's ok to quote one line, " Due to my distorted thinking, I made some regrettable choices in my life." Sometimes when I'm on my pity pot, I focus too much on the mistakes instead of the positive choices I've made. I married into the disease of alcoholism four times in my almost 56 years. Sometimes I think I dwell too much on that and not enough on the important fact that I made the very wise choice of getting my butt into Al-Anon after the first two marriages ended. I never would have survived the 12 year third marriage to an emotionally damaged ACOA, if I had not had al-anon. It also helped me to understand my dry-drunk fourth husband. But enough about them, this program is about me and MY RECOVERY.
The second line in the reading states, "I also held onto anger about being raised by unavailable, alcoholic parents." Now while I was not raised by alcoholic parents, I definitely was raised by emotionally unavailable parents, that were probably not ready to have kids; as they were 35 and 47 when I was born. I pretty much raised myself, and while i had no idea that I was "deprived" at the time, I went into adulthood "looking for love in all the wrong places" and most all of those 'wrong places' involved bars or places where alcoholics were. But alanon helped me to 'refocus' my search, and the reason for meeting my 3rd husband at 12-step meetings, and while that marriage didn't survive either, in the end; I survived it much better through alanon. My fourth marriage was my last attempt at love I guess, and while I knew I couldn't marry into active alcoholism again, I did think I could handle a nondrinking, not in recovery alcoholic with the help of the program. I was wrong. We fought more over my attending meetings than my third husband, as at least he understood the need for meetings, my fourth husband did not and forbid me to go to them (physically restrained me), so that didn't work either.
I'm now in the program for me, and only me and have been since August of 2009, when the last divorce ended. I started in this program in September of 1990, so that was a long time to learn that I needed to focus on myself, but better late than never! LOL
Lisa
Overcomer in chat)
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
Todays reading is about how many of us have spent time regretting things we have done or said, held on to anger, and wished for a different past or reality.
THIS! OH, SO THIS!
Thank you Mary, for your service and sharing your ESH on this subject. I quoted the above because I am beginning to see that I lived my life on this planet constantly in this state of being. Never fully in the present. I am beginning to uncover the deep-rooted "whys" of this... it is a process.
Thanks to Al-Anon, I am slowly learning to accept that I can survive the mistakes I make, that being perfect is not a life-goal, and the only person I really need to please is myself. For me, it is a hard balance to find... the overcoming desire to people-please and the truth of that I only need to please myself.
I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday. In my neck of the woods it literally went from snow showers in the mtns. on Wed, to 95 degrees yesterday and hotter today! Crazy weather!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you for your service and what a great post Mary! I've only recently have come to realize that I hold on to anger in false hope of keeping the past present and mutable. Even if I could change events that occurred, I know it wouldn't necessarily mean I could change an outcome (both are HP jobs, not mine
we have autumn here which y'all call fall, ah suppose... daylight saving has gone and the evenings are dark again.
Being present is a good way to remain in contact with our higher power... and in contact with other people as well. It was a long hard journey, for me, to get to this point...
...I am so grateful for all the help along the way- including readings from our daily readers!!!
I've learned that holding on to anger, regrets and wishes of changing the past only brings more difficulty to our lived. Wee can apologise for our actions, we can analyse them but then it's time to move on as no one can change it and it brings resentment. Learn from the past, look to the future and live in the now.
Hi Mary, loved the reminder that in an instant we can "reboot" and re-do with a slogan..I've been practicing being really in the now, where I am experiencing my 5 senses in things that I do..I even narrate to myself, what I am feeling, smelling, seeing, hearing , etc., to stay in the now..>I cannot be afraid if I am so focused on the RIGHT now.....the slogans, I just love...I drag them out regularly to keep me from going off the guard rails of sanity....thank you for this nice post
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