The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteousness, provides us with the certainty that we are always right. The second smothers us in this illusion that I am better than others.
By attending Al-Anon meetings and practicing the tools, such as the steps and slogans, we can address the damage done by these two negative defects. The reading suggests that we pick up and examine our motives before we make any decisions . Why am I doing this is a really necessary, are these good reasons for my actions etc quote is from Proverbs; "I pray for the progress that is possible, when I am completely honest with myself. On this foundation. I can build a good life"
As I work my program I can defiantly feel the spirit at work in my life,
im working on being more honest with myself,going below the surface .
i always thought I was right when I never really listened or would see ,now that i have worked an honest program I can clearly see where I've not heard ,I'm now more open minded ,listening to the spirit within,I can see how I was a self righteous soul...doing better n better each day with working my program daily,alanon is truly a spiritual program ,I can feel the spirit moving through the daily readers each day.
Have a great day everyone,,Its gonna be sunny and 70s here today,I'm planning on making it a great day.
Hi Looking up Great reminder I find that examining my motives truly helped me to see the truth behind my actions, words and beliefs I am eternally garteful to alanon for increasing my Spirituality
Thanks for your service and for sharing he journey.
Thank you Lookingup! I'm lurking off and on lately.
Today's odat reading reminds me of how off balance I can get. How easy it is to swing too far one way or another. I see it working in my life. And I did see the reverse in not feeling as good as others before this program. IN saying that tho, when I was really getting a breakthrough in the steps, I went over to the self righteous part when trying to share to a person helping their A way too much. It was then I was reminded, we share our ESH and it went smoothly after that. The ups and downs of balance sure hit but nothing like they did! It's definitely a spiritual program and one I will always be growing and learning.
Thanks for your service, LU, and for the ESH shared above. I am at a stage now where I can see my self-righteousness and and self-justification, which all my previous life I had taken simply as "I'm right". Quite a blow to my ego, but I see its very necessary to move towards a healthier way of thinking and happier life. I also try and practice looking at my motives... Not something that comes naturally to me at all, and while I know of this tool I still tend to avoid it. Just yesterday was such a time, and my sponsor nudged me to look for my motives regarding why I don't block my ex-abf on e-mail too when I have told her I feel like a masochist. So I looked, and it took a concentrated effort and honesty... What I found out that one of the main reasons was (just like when I pretty torn about whether to leave my ex or not) I didn't want to take responsibility for ending communication... Same story as before, it turns out. So that obviously is a constant flaw of mine.
I'm very grateful to the program for becoming a more sane and happier person, one day at a time. I don't know "where" exactly I'd be if I hadn't found Al-Anon, but I'm sure it would be a considerably worse place than where I am now.
Good Morning MIP. Thank you Looking Up for ODAT on self righteous and judgemental behavior. When I am aggrevated by someone else's behavior I recognize that it is most likely my self righteous thoughts kicking in and then I want to justify my negative behavior. A quote from C2C helps me change direction. "I can be right or I can be happy". Yesterday I felt annoyed because my daughter in law had planned a 6 week trip to her home country right in the middle of my summer plans. She will miss a family baby shower and I am out money for a pre planned non refundable event for our grandson. Yes timing could have been better. I can be negative or I can be happy our grandson will have time with his other grandparents. I can be angry or I can donate the tickets to another family that might like to take their grandchild to see. Just saying... I choose to be Happy and I can " Live and Let Live". Thank you to those who gave ESH before me.
*(C2C p.303)
Thank you LU for the daily and your service. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. I've heard in recovery for a long, long time that whenever I am unnerved by what's going on around me or the behavior of another, I need to take a look at me for the answers. This doesn't suggest I accept unacceptable behavior but rather that I take a look at my motives, adjust my thinking and actions and respond instead of react.
I am not held hostage to this disease or the diseased any longer. The best freedom given to me is looking at my own motives, and making a loving decision to detach. From them, their behavior, their words, their disease, etc. I believe that as I grow spiritually, I am better able to handle situations that used to baffle me and my responses today are not just 'fight or flight'. I have a level of acceptance of imperfect in my mind, heart and soul and I can truly love others as they are, sometimes from across the street but still love them.
I find great freedom in knowing that nobody owes me anything....when I keep my expectations realistic and minimal, I am pleasantly surprised each and every day, and find that when I am not expecting, demanding or requesting, I get way, way more than ever before.
Happy Saturday all - been to a meeting and just had lunch. Planning a nap soon and grilling steaks tonight! Enjoy your day - (((hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
