The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Courage to Change is about taking the time to notice and enjoy things we like.
The author shares that their favorite time of day was early morning, but after years of living with an active alcoholic, they seemed to be consumed by one crisis or another from the time they woke to the time they went to bed. The author shares that they woke up the same way they went to bed: frantic. No matter how early they got up, they were already running late, and sometimes they were so overwhelmed that they couldn't get up at all.
Now, the author has made a decision to get up and enjoy their favorite part of the day. To not review their schedule for the day until after breakfast, to take the time to see and hear what nature is doing in the morning, and to be fully present for their favorite part of the day. With the help of AlAnon, the author shares that they have been able to clear their mind of their problems and worries, and enjoy the wonder of the moment.
Today's Reminder: Today I'll be keenly aware of my senses. I will think about what I am experiencing at this moment. I won't let the beauty of this day slip by unnoticed.
Today's Quote: "Real generosity toward the future consists in giving all to what is present." Albert Camus
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I can appreciate and relate to the author's feeling of frantic, overwhelmed, running late before getting started. I had periods of those feelings before I met my AW, but they came and went with predictability (and final exams, lol!), and I was able to give myself time to relax immediately following them. Life with an active alcoholic was challenging, and one of my coping skills was to go into "frantic, get-it-done" mode to keep things running along as well as they could. I didn't have time to relax, so I just stayed frantic and got more frantic with the years. Thanks to AlAnon, I've slowly been coming back to myself, allowing myself to ride the wave of predictable business and too much to do in too little time, while also carving out time for myself each day to recenter and focus on things I enjoy. And, I've given up on managing our family home life. Things either happen or they do not. The things that need to happen (like paying bills, feeding pets, etc.) I take care of myself. Things that are less important (cleaning, sometimes laundry, dishes) either get done, or they do not. And, I've stopped attempting to manage my wife's disease, actions and life, which has added volumes to my own sense of serenity and well-being.
Last week was spring break, and I was able to take the time to organize my office and file or recycle the cascading piles of paper I had eon every available surface. Now, when I walk in each morning, it feels so good to have organized space!
We had a rather messy snow storm last night, the morning commute was pretty slippery, but here's hoping for clearer roads on the drive home! My little seedlings (started and kept in the house) promise me that spring is on its way!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Skorpi - so glad you arrived safely! Prayers for a safer commute at the end of your work day. We did not get any weather (yet) but are setting the record right now for low temperatures....this winter in spring is certainly a distraction! I am patiently waiting for 'real spring' - and don't see it this week in the forecasts...
I too was insanely consumed with this disease. It dominated my life in such a way that I woke with dread and fell asleep with dread. Looking back, I am beyond words grateful that my sponsor nudged me gently towards Al-Anon. I have no issue today admitting that I was crazier than my alcoholics often/always.
What a gift....to arrive and be surrounded with support from strangers who listen and offer only suggestions vs. advice. Even better, nobody pressured me to do it their way or to share beyond what I could. There were times were I had nothing to say, yet felt safe just being there and listening to the ESH of others.
When I began to absorb the words, I struggled with focusing on me and staying in the now. I'd been a planner my whole life and as with most things, didn't plan well. I always projected the if I do this, then ..................................... This distorted thinking contributed greatly to my insanity as the outcome of life and events are beyond my control. Today, I still plan but it's mostly to do my best for this day and to leave the outcomes to my HP.
So - living one day at a time for me is a profound change that I had to practice....I am better today, but accept and own my imperfect person!! Make it a great day all - as we say....Happy Hump Day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Skorpi. I also lived in a frantic state bouncing from one crisis to another to the point of exhaustion. I had no time to focus on anything that was important to me in my life. I existed only to cure the alcoholic in my life. When that didn't happen I became sicker. Thankfully now I am slowly regaining my footing. I have resigned from a lot of my family manager jobs. No matter what is going on in others lives I can be okay. I have Al-anon to thank for that.
I like what it says about saying: Good God it is morning as apposed Good morning God! It may be a little too much for most people but for me it is true.
I look forward to the morning unlike I used to be.
I like to be on a schedule as well. But sometimes it looks like things aren't going my way. I have to rely my higher power to help me make the decisions I need to make.
I could just go back to bed or start my day over. I could let the day get to me. I could do nothing. I could make a decision to turn my will & life over to HIM.
Whatever I do I hope that someone will me moved because of me. I give all the glory to HIM.
Not to let pride get in the way!
Not much more is coming through right now!
I hope I am on topic. I went to another group this morning that has trouble staying on topic.
It is easy to do unfortunately.
One day at a time, just for today! I am where I am supposed to be.
Thank you Skorpi for Today's C2C reminding us to take time to notice the things we enjoy. It took me having a health scare to step up and take better care of myself. Eating better, sleeping better, planning work time and play time. Since reducing stress is vital to my heart health I have been walking, dancing, writing and reading (a lot of program literature ). I can truly say I am thankful every morning when I have been blessed with another day. Thankful for all your ESH too, especially when I need a little gentle shove to get moving.
Thank you for your service Skorpi. I can relate to waking up earlier and earlier to child-proof and clean up after whatever went on during the night. The time needed to clean up grew longer and longer... 30 minutes, 45 then 1 hour, and then at least 2.
I am so grateful that this is not part of my life anymore. These days, I peacefully watch the sun rise with my warm cup of coffee. The quiet of my morning is one of the most favorite parts of my day.
