The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's no secret that I'm a member of Alanon and a member of AA. I went to my first Alanon meeting for the wrong reason. I was a sober member of AA who mistakenly thought that Alanon would be a great place to meet a woman who liked to take care of alcoholics. That did not go as well as I would have liked. But, as I sat in that first alanon meeting, I began to hear what these people were actually saying and It occurred to me my childhood was a textbook example of what its like to grow up in an alcoholic family. My mother and my father were alcoholics. Later in life, I married an alcoholic and struggled through that marriage for 18 years. Eventually, I admitted I had a drinking problem and subsequently sobered up in AA (so most of my friends are alcoholics)
On March 23, 1998 I attended my weekly alanon meeting. At that meeting, I got talking with a woman I didn't know very well and we agreed to attend an open AA meeting that night (for her benefit)I remember making a joke that I lived in a transition house and I had a curfew and that if she didn't have me home by midnight I'd have to come live with her. That's what my caseworker used to tell me.
The meeting was great. We both enjoyed it. We went for a nice drive along the coast. I did my 5th step with her and she did her 5th step with me. And then, something that neither of us could have predicted happening, happened. We realized we loved each other. And so we decided to walk this road together. I remember being a bit of a romantic back then. I told her that I couldn't promise her the moon or the stars or that I would love her until the end of time because I didn't know what I'd be doing at the end of time. All I really knew was what I'd be doing today, so I offered her one day and if on the following day she wanted to do it again, we would do it again.
That was 20 years ago. We've been married for 18. Later today, to celebrate our 20-year anniversary of our first date, we'll do pretty much the same thing we did 20 years ago. We'll go to a meeting. The one we went to 20 years ago was a speaker meeting and so we couldn't talk. But, tonight it's a discussion meeting. I don't know if we'll get a chance to share, but if we do, I think I know what I'll tell them. I think I'll thank them for allowing the two of us to share in their journey. Or something like that.
__________________
Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
LOL Wolfie Being a "double" also you got into my expectations file and fulfilled some of my past too. I was reading my "what it was like" for me as you told yours also. My experience wasn't as quick as yours as I was pretty much adhering to the "when in doubt don't" plan and staying away from close relationships until I "chanced it" and fell back into old habits. I didn't want to marry because I was set on moving back home 2600 miles into the Pacific Nation I was born into and then when I got off the plane and soon turned around there she was telling me "I want to be married" so I checked out that thought for several months and told my HP that I was relying to it's and the fellowships guidance and 24 years later she and I are still married and never an inclination to separate though we have because her family is still "up there". We do have a very good relationship one on one and family. Her eldest son and daughter in law are in recovery and together we have over 100 years sobriety. Thank you HP. That's my bedtime story and it's not as romantic as yours and then we're still working it huh? ((((hugs))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 23rd of March 2018 12:44:28 AM
Hell Wolfie and Jerry. Congrats to you both I can more or less relate I was seriously attending alanon after the death of my husband and had decided no more marriage for me. I attended an Alanon Share a Day one weekend and connected with a male alanon member whose mom lived not far from my home . He began to attend meetings that I frequented and we went for coffee often. After a year of this, i was given a pair of Opera tickets for Christmas and I ASKED HIM to Go with me. He accepted and now 30 years later we are still together-- not married but going a a cruise this Tuesday and are able to walk side by side with courage, honesty and support. He always jokes that I was the first to ask him out MEN!!!
I must add that life has not been a rose garden as we did walk through the relapse and death of my son together and I am ever so grateful that program tools supported us during this difficult time . Another reason to appreciate Program and the tools.
Lovely shares all - truly priceless and hopeful. I met and married my guy in AA recovery. It's been a wild, chaos-filled, crazy journey with him relapsing and then producing 2 sons who found their place in the disease. Yet, because of those who came before me in AA, and many doubles with wisdom I am grateful for, I found my way to Al-Anon and have thrived in spite of the disease that swirls around us and never backs off.
We've been married 26 years, 27 in April. There are many experiences I could have "lived without at the time", but not one that I regret today. It's a part of my story, our history and I still each day believe the best is yet to come. Very grateful for the program and tools and Wolfie - happy, happy anniversary!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Happy anniversary, Wolfie! So glad you were to find happiness in your life!
Great shares, everyone!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
. He accepted and now 30 years later we are still together-- not married but going a a cruise this Tuesday and are able to walk side by side with courage, honesty and support. He always jokes that I was the first to ask him out 
MEN!!!