The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
5th Step-The writer reflects upon writing her 4th Step, and reaching the 5th. She saw that many of her behaviors paralleled the alcoholic, except she did them sober: blaming others, took everything personally, insanity, and many responses were fear based. She didn't see change right away, but knew with this Step, change had begun.
Today's Reminder: I am learning the "nature of my nature" through the Twelve Steps. I trust that I will uncover what I need to know for now, and leave the rest for another time. I am worth learning about.
Quote from In All Our Affairs: When we take Step Five...we demonstrate a willingness to change.
This reading reminded me of the peeling of the onion, many layers, but willingness to peel them away one by one. And with each layer, there is learning, leading to improved health and self-esteem. I certainly had to learn that I was worth it-worth caring about myself, and starting to love myself as I loved others. I remember being afraid of Steps 4 & 5, having to face myself in reality, and wondering if my sponsor would fire me. After all, wasn't I a dreadful person? Instead, my sponsor guided me along this path, and helped me recognize and decent and good person: me! Lyne
wow Lyne .. thank you for posting this ! for the first time i really see this in me with a little deeper aware or understanding .. paralleling the alcoholic / addict ? yep i am becoming aware of this piece on deeper layers .. even to the point of hearing his words not match his actions. I realize I have done the same in recovery .. I am going to reflect And share on this because this is Real. thanks again.
-- Edited by MeTwo2 on Sunday 18th of February 2018 09:54:54 PM
Hello Lyne I too found that the Steps, especially the 4 th and 5th, although frightening to me at the start of this journey, did serve to uncover all the negative tools I developed in order to protect myself from the insanity of this disease. I finally did see that these tools were hurting me and were covering up my positive energy that could be used to face life on life's terms.
I too am extremely grateful to alanon and my sponsor who stood with me as I walked honestly through these difficult steps.
Thank you for your continued service Have a lovely day
Good morning everyone and thank you for the ESH's! The 4th-5th step helped me see how my false beliefs and fears were paralyzing me. I thought, no way can anyone be this awful! I am learning to love myself and understand it is simply a disease and can take over my noggin whenever I let my guard down. I'm grateful for all of you and this program. The layers continue.........
Good morning MIP! Thank you all for your shares and ESH. Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. I too had fear about this/these steps and the simple reason is because of my distorted thinking and my Ego. I am grateful that when I first considered coming, I was told (more than once) to keep an open mind. I really did not want to work on 'me' - it was (in my mind) not my fault!!!
It took a while for the kind words and ESH of others to penetrate my denial. In time, with the steps, it became clear that I was as insane (maybe more) as my A(s). I also found that my fear was less and my faith was growing. I shifted the cause/blame game to what my part was and trusted that my HP was fully aware of who I was/am and loved me unconditionally any ways!
What amazes me on a regular basis is that more is always revealed. If I focus on my recovery and keeping my serenity, I become aware of more to consider, and improve if needed. Thank you all for being a part of my journey and make it a great day. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good morning MIP! Lyne, thank you for your service.
I was really afraid of step 4 and step 5 - I was so obsessed by them, that I couldn't focus very well on step 1, lol!
I like the way the program guides me to take things easy, one step at a time, do the next logical thing next, and stay present in the moment. All those things help me to peel back more layers and continue to discover a wonderful person - myself!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
