The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"Oh - I wouldnt leave him if it wasnt for .... " - "I would remain being his friend" ...
And suddenly this robot-like behavior taking over, setting things in motion and my being being manipulated - my thinking twisted and screwed moving my life in a certain direction.
Some things really improved since I went to the first al anon meeting though...
Hello Lee I m not quite sure who is twisting your thinking or telling you you do not need a meeting. The alanon tools of living one day at a time, focused on ourselves, trusting HP, attending meetings work Please search out an alanon face to face meeting and attend
Leei I am with Hot rod on this one as my experience follows it. Family and friends went arms lengths with me when they saw the differences in me after I got into program for real. Until it was for real I dabbled in it and with it and then my life started to change. I didn't naturally defend my choices or behaviors; that was part of my personality and when I put that to use with the program of Al-Anon and my life I distanced myself from those who were detractors. My then sponsor suggested that I separate myself from all things alcohol and I did...both sides of my family and my alcoholic/addict wife and built meaningful relationships within the Al-Anon FAMILY groups. This is part of how I work(ed) it and I am right with it.
You do not have to defend with or to anyone. (((hugs)))
Remember that you don't have to defend your decisions to anyone. They may try to get on your case and give you grief. But remember the saying "You don't have to show up for every argument you're invited to." It doesn't matter what they think. When we no longer think that we have to convince others not to be upset, or to see our point of view, suddenly we are free.
I too would suggest you do what you can to take care of you - if you felt relief from attending meetings, keep doing it. I tend to just go on about my life and no longer seek permission or acceptance from others regarding my day's plans. It's been refreshing to trust the program, my HP and focus on just me for a while. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
