The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After AHâs relapse 2 weeks ago, I was concerned he wouldnât be willing to keep working on his issues. Iâve been pleasantly surprised though. No more episodes since then and our relationship is continuing to improve. A lot of the little things that mean so much and have been missing for a long time have started to reappear. Weâre thinking of each other again - he cleaned my car off this weekend after it snowed and I made a special trip to the store to get him his favorite ice cream. He hung some more pictures Iâd been wanting hung for a long time (without being asked!) and I spent some time watching sports with him (which I have no interest in but he enjoys and always asks me to watch with him). But weâre also giving each other space - not the âI donât want to be near youâ space but the comfortable kind, where weâre both just content to do our own thing. Weâve started spending Sunday mornings in the hot tub, sipping our coffee and talking about our week. Although the job change is still on the table, he does seem more content where heâs at, at least for now. I can see him actively trying to disengage from work when he comes home at night and heâs focusing more on us and our family and trying to leave the stress at work. While I still donât know if he plans on never drinking again Iâm starting to become more comfortable with not knowing and just enjoying each day as it comes. Right now things are good, life feels comfortable and weâre regaining some ground we lost with each other over the years. Weâre laughing and flirting and enjoying each otherâs company again. Iâm allowing myself to be okay with all of that and stop the worrying and wondering that has plagued me the last few years. It never fixed anything anyway.
Great update twinkies - good for you to 'see' and relate to what's working! Progress always as a goal helps me stay there and present in just this day. Keep doing what you're doing - recovery looks good on you!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene