The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP and Happy February! Today's reading discusses how change in Al-Anon doesn't always affect others around us. We learn as we practice this program how powerless we really are. The writer discusses thinking 'if only' I stop enabling, my A will get better. That was not what happened; the A actually got worse.
We come to understand that expecting others to change in a positive manner because we are doing so is unrealistic and perhaps another attempt to control the disease or the behavior. As we continue forward, we determine that change is a choice and happens for our benefit and not to benefit others. We learn to make choices that are good for us, not because of the effect they might have on others.
Today's Reminder --- It is hard to stop acting as I have in the past. But with Al-Anon's support, I can be the one to break the pattern. I can choose to do what I think is right - for me.
Today's Quote --- "You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life. . ." from Jane Seymour
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My coping habits and behaviors were deeply entrenched in my being. With the best of intentions, for many years, I had tried to fix, control and/or change others around me - not just the A. As it happens, practicing this program allowed my HP to disclose more and more to me that I was doing that was not healthy for me.
I now better know that when I am focused on me and what's best for me, all around me benefit. It may not be in the way I believe necessary and that's OK - I do trust and believe that a power greater than I is driving this bus. Al-Anon has given me back my self-worth and self-esteem to put me first and make choices that are forward-facing, healthy and in my best interest. As a result of practicing this program, I am more at peace and now experience true joy and serenity even when 'life happens'.
Happy Thursday to one and all - colder here today....I ran all my errands yesterday so may/may not hibernate! Stay safe and make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I thought that going to AlAnon and stepping up my program work would encourage my AW to start going to AA. I thought if she could only see the positive change the program had on me, that she would want to try AA or Alanon herself. Of course, we had different opinions about whether the changes in me were positive or not, lol!
Today I am thankful for a program that offers me compassion and understanding, non-judgement, and the opportunity to continue to grow and change.
It's so windy here today, most of the semis are off the roads! I think this weekend there is a winter kite flying event, so maybe the wind arrived just a bit early.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning IAM and Skorpi Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important topic. Working he Steps, attending meetings and using the slogans has help me to shed my negative reactions and so respond in a positive manner to everyone It is a win , win for all Have a great day and thanks so much for your service
-- Edited by Iamhere on Sunday 31st of January 2021 12:02:25 PM
