The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I love how we share our ESH in recovery. I wanted to share how 'it' works when we work it!
My oldest child, 25, is sober about 2.5 months. This is a child who, like me, showed many 'isms' before he ever consumed a mind altering substance. This is a child, like me, who found courage from the first mind-altering substance and has been chasing that feeling ever since. He had 5 years sober, relapsed and it took a bit to get back in. He is one of my loves who brought me to Al-Anon...
This week, he found out that to finish his undergrad in May, as planned, his class schedule would have to include an evening course. Long story short, he is living in an Oxford House (Sober House), and the evening class is on the same night as the required weekly house meeting. He did what A's do - he reached out to his momma (me) in a panic looking to be rescued.
It took everything within me (HP) to say No. It took everything within me to not J-A-D-E. I won't elaborate here either, this is where I am in recovery. As it happens, I spent part of Wednesday wondering if I had done right, made the right decision, etc. I spoke with my sponsor, did some journaling, talked with some program friends and spent a ton of time chatting with God about it.
He called yesterday, and not only said he understood, said he was working on other solutions. His house will not change the meeting, he has tried to work with the college and is doing what he does - 'flying by the seat of his pants'. It was a good conversation, and he has some options, because he's sober and working on recovery.
I woke with gratitude because Al-Anon saved my sanity over 'life' this week. I am also grateful that he finally has accepted a No from me without excommunicating me from his life and the little people. I am grateful that we both are able to turn to our recovery to examine our motives, find some guidance and move forward. For us and how this disease has affected us, this is a huge miracle and gives me even more hope for today.
When I am able to let Go and let God, the miracles do happen. When I can just keep on my side of the street and not meddle, suggest, coach, save or rescue, those I love are allowed to grow and do 'life' as their HP guides. I still had some fear and doubt about the outcome, but just kept turning it over and picking up another tool. Boy howdy - it does work when we work it! (((Hugs))) - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for sharing this! What a great example of exactly "HOW" this program works in everyday life! IMHO, this can really help newbies who have a hard time understanding the concepts of this program! I know I was one in the beginning.
For me, THIS was a HUGE thought:
" When I can just keep on my side of the street and not meddle, suggest, coach, save or rescue, those I love are allowed to grow and do 'life' as their HP guides."
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks ladies - I readily admit it still at times feels 'foreign' to trust the process and to not engage - I am one who 'needs' to see and feel recovery working to continue practicing it. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
What a great share IAH! It truly is in these rooms......I am learning to do the same. As long as I don't stop reading others shares, keep working the program and learning. So grateful for all of you!
Keep doing you Tude - it looks great on you!!! I too am grateful for all here and my local tribe! Had dinner with a program friend and it's so lovely to sit and discuss what's working well in our lives. Way different than how I was before recovery. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
