The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for January 2 suggest that we take time to look over the happenings of our lives as if we were examining someone else's life. The reading ask us take an objective view note how our thoughts and actions d appear to us, as we guard against self-justification . It suggests that we look at our actions and see if what we said or did was done in anger and desperation and if so, did these actions make the situation worse.? We must be honest here in our evaluation because we learn from experience that being honest allows us to learn and not repeat destructive actions.
The reading suggest that we not give into the alcoholics unconscious need for punishment and use tears in an attempt to overcome the difficulties we face . Instead we can use program tools of detachment and face the difficulties with calm poise. always remembering that we are responding in this manner for our benefit.
The last sentencet suggests that when we are tempted to say or do something in a negative fashion that we stop and think, before we say or do anything-- in other words, do not react but instead ask HP for the ability to grow into the person that we want to be, and learn how to respond
I know this is the secret to my recovery-- learning how not to react but to respond was such a gift of this program and I am so eternally grateful
Taking a step back, trying to view my life and situation through the eyes of another, focusing on actions and facts, all these things have helped me to detach and learn to respond, not react. The holidays brought me the opportunity to practice my AlAnon tools daily, and I've discovered a need to brush up on my detachment skills. I didn't realize/didn't want to admit how important time out of the house and away from the alcoholic in my life was to my serenity and general ability to respond in a way that I would like. Looking forward to this new year and the new opportunities to practice my skills of detachment combined with a new commitment to do more of what is good and spiritually rejuvenating to me.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning all - thank you Betty for your service and the daily. Thanks to all above for your shares and ESH. I was the queen of reacting prior to recovery and did so with absolutely no filter. What was in my crazy brain came tumbling right out through my mouth and did not ever serve to help any issue, rather fueled more insanity.
Practicing Al-Anon and listening to the ESH of others helped me to see that no response was often better than a reactive response. I practiced keeping my mouth closed and listening actively to the intent vs. the content. As I worked the steps, and came to better accept this disease and how it affects me and what's going on around me, I used my sponsor regularly to help me respond in healthy ways.
I still have reactive thoughts in my brain, yet use the "pause" in my signature to better determine if a response is required and how it might best be delivered. I still practice keeping my mouth shut and listening as I was 'one of those' who was formulating my 'holier-than-thou + know-more-than-you' response instead of hearing any message/lesson.
Make it a lovely day all - for those in the path of the super-cold (me) - stay warm and safe!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Greetings MIP-This is a wonderful topic and it reminds me of the Golden Rule: Treat others as you wish to be treated. I try my hardest to treat others with respect and compassion. I'm not perfect, but I have made great strides in this department! Progress not perfection, right? Stay warm, Lyne
Thank you for your service, Betty, and to all who shared here. Great reading and great ESH! I first started to learn responding by "acting as if" and this has served me very well. I'm still not really in the place where I'm actually sincere in my responses that I often now use instead of reactions, but this is a large step in the direction of sanity. I hope to get "there" for real someday (soon, hopefully!!). :) With the miracles I see in my life (=my attitude) already, just for today I feel pretty blessed. Now and then this program just boggles my mind with its awesomeness! I feel really grateful today!!! :)
