The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about the 5th tradition: "Each Al-Anon family group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics."
The author goes on to consider how it is that Al-Anon helps families of alcoholics and explains that we must first learn to love ourselves, then we can begin to truly love others. Taking care of our own spiritual needs allows us to live by example, and that example is the best way to carry our knowledge of the program to others.
Today's reminder is to practice compassion by first loving and being kind to ourselves, and then extending this compassion to others.
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When I first began work in the program, I thought selflessness and love meant that I put my needs aside, ignore them, and do whatever I can to help others. Through my work in the program, I have discovered that when I take care of myself and my spiritual needs first, I am more able to be compassionate and loving toward others. I also mind my own business and let others deal with their own lives while I deal with mine
Snow is in the forecast for tomorrow, so it looks like we might have have some clean white for the holidays after all!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good Morning Skorpi Love all the Traditions and this Tradition in particular. As you noted, The 5th tradition clearly outlines the mission statement for alanon meetings and then proceeds to explain how this can be accomplished. Your discussion on the importance of practicing compassion first toward ourselves then to others is very inspiring. I do believe that intellectually I extended compassion to others prior to program but until I extended the same gentleness and love to myself I did not "feel" the compassion within. This is indeed a powerful program and reading.
Thanks for your service Snow for Christmas sounds great as I am staying home :)
Hi Skorpi and Betty-I didn't think I deserved kindness and compassion and generally felt miserable most of the time. I put other's needs first because I was a dedicated member of the doormat club. In coming to Alanon I learned that we all deserve love and respect, and my sponsor help me tremendously when making amends. She pointed out that perhaps I needed to make amends to myself, and she was right. As I grow and change I am better at the 5th tradition, because now I'm not just talking the talk, but I'm walking the walk, Lyne
Thanks for your service, Skorpi, and all the shares above. I identify so much, I also have not been truly compassionate for a long time, as I couldn't really feel anything for real anymore, and despite my fixation on the alcoholic and abandonment of myself, I was at the same time so inside my own crazy head I didn't know what honest and healthy compassion or help even means. I didn't know myself and I couldn't know anyone else, I just didn't have the ability anymore. Now that I'm getting to know and gradually accept myself I find I begin to know and really see others, too. And sometimes to be of service which does not involve enabling. This is a gift, and I'm grateful. I just realized this upcoming Christmas, if all is well, is going to be the first in a long time when I am able to experience some healthy degree of human connection with my family. I am not nearly as "out of it" as I was last year. :) :)
Thank you for your service sharing the daily, Skorpi, and all for your shares.
When I found AlAnon, I thought my qualifier was the source of the pain in my life and was full of resentment, judgment, and anger. AlAnon guided me to the realization that I was the problem, and my higher power gave me the strength to start chipping away at my character defects.
Tradition 5 is very humbling and challenges me to work the very 12 Steps of AA that I thought only my qualifier needed to:
"We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics."
It also challenges me to encourage and understand the alcoholic. My willingness and ability to do these things helps serve as an indicator of where I am in my program and spiritual state. Grateful for the reminders and guidance of the program...
Yes, it looks like the weather is trying to catch up with the season, time to bundle up
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Skorpi for your service, the daily and your ESH/share. Thanks to all above for the same. I am 'down and out' so can't even process the reading - it's been a sleep all day trying to recovery day for me.
All I know is that I was humbled greatly as I began working this program. Accepting this as a disease, and seeking to understand rather than be understood really has helped me be a kinder person.
Happy Wednesday to one/all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
