new learnings - Al-Anon Family Group

joker · Senior Member

new learnings

el-cee · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi joker. I also wanted to know more about alcoholism like you. I found it difficult when i looked outside alanon it often felt confusing especially if i got conflicting info. Thats just me though and others may find this kind of info helpful and if you did then great. You say you weren't going crazy it was him, that is not my own experience. I was going crazy living with this disease and i needed help and i got it in alanon. I learned that for almost every statement i made about the drinker i had evidence of the same bad behaviour in me also. I believe thats why its called the family disease. So i knew he was full of anger then working the program i found anger in me. Bitterness resentment self pity manipulation all of it was in me too. I learned i could only change me and for my life to improve it was going to come through changing me. We come here believing it's all the fault of the drinker and we come to see its the fault of an awful disease that has effected me just as much.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

When I accepted the fact that I was powerless over people ,places and things , I found that, as alanon suggests, taking the focus off the drinker and placing it directly on myself I was better able to see how I was hurting myself and change.

Using alanon tools of living one day at a time, the Steps and slogans i finally took the focus off them stopped pointing fingers of blame at them and then saw that when i pointed my finger of blame at them , 4 finger were pointing back at me --As LC states I too was guilty of all i charged him with . Program works

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

Joker, hi. I am retired from the field of mental health but thought I would add my ESH. Psychology is a complex subject because often symptoms of one disease overlap and can be found in other diagnoses. The primary factor in psychosis is a difficulty perceiving reality. And that overlaps in alcoholism due to denial, rationalization, and other such defenses.

As LC and Betty stated, because of the impact of my A I truly became very sick myself, and have been working to gain a healthier grasp on my reality. After over 4 years now, I see things better and differently, because I am changing . So keeping the focus on me now is my job. I have taken the focus off my A. Lyne

KT2015 · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Joker,
I also work in the mental health field and I think that objective information is helpful and has it's place but I will keep my outside affiliations limited and leave it at that. I think it's wonderful that you are doing so much work on your recovery. I am glad to hear that you are attending face to face meetings, Journaling etc all very good stuff. It sounds like you are learning to take care of yourself. It also sounds like having this new information has helped you to reach step one around his disease. To realize you are powerless over the alcoholic and their disease is wonderful. Keep working your program and keep the focus on you getting better. HUGS.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Great Post family...I also did the digging that Joker and the rest of you have and the benefits were awesome. The more I could become aware of the more I wasn't unknowingly be swept off my feet. I knew I was crazy early on and didn't know how to change it. I also provided therapy with very little mental health...I was a behaviorist not digging around in what my clients thought but exploring their behaviors and creating change with it...just like the program has done with me. (((hugs))) smile

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