The material presented
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My daughter and I have been butting heads for various reasons and I get it .. she wants to do her "adult" thing. She has felt she's got it all under control only to find out that no .. she doesn't and has been left with some serious consequences.
She came home this weekend and I had been pretty firm about the fact I wasn't going to go and get her until the 15th. After having some conversation on Friday and a very LONG Starbucks date on Saturday. I have been ill over the past 3 weeks and now it's all in my chest I'm incredibly frustrated at the moment.
I got a LOT of oh mom .. you really have been so right on about everything and it was hard to admit. Let's see medication she has decided not for her, she's felt like 1/2 a person over the past 3 months and is having a difficult time connecting (ya think?!), her Xanax and her ticking meds went down the drain apparently about a month ago she scared herself good with it. She was realizing how easy it is to get hooked on script drugs and while they did help her through the hard times .. they are not meant as a permanent solution and that's what I preach .. some people do need them long term .. it's got to be the right drugs and that can take years to figure out as we are not one size fits all. She has now signed herself up for therapy on her own. Guess what .. she can't have contact with her dad .. he's a trigger. Ya THINK?! LOL. I was like umm yes. She also got her act together with the issue of her scholarship stuff and what do you know as scary as it was sounding she got the help she needed which I am grateful. Again .. gee mom .. it was just what you said .. it was scary and not all the same time.
So this is all good. I am laughing to myself thinking girlfriend why do you take the hardest path out there? She's also decided she wants to be a Forensic Attorney which I don't know that there is a niche however this would be a new trail to blaze on many levels. She's got a LOT on her plate and is getting her priorities straight. We did have a LONG discussion about the boyfriend and she is trying to force the issue of me liking him .. and what I told her was she needs to leave it alone and let me come around as I come around instead of forcing this guy in my lap. She went on about it's been 3 months .. whoop whoop is all I can say it's 2 months longer than the last one. She's also aware at this point it could be a long 4 weeks of no boyfriend. He doesn't drive, neither does she and I'm not up for carting 2 teens around at the moment. He earned some points based upon some of what she shared as in why do you believe your mom is going to react well with partial information. And he's terrified of me which isn't a bad thing .. lol .. I don't want to cause the kid issues at the same time this is my baby he's messing with and she's made a lot of uninformed decisions since getting together with him. Why would I think that it didn't have anything to do with him. I pointed that out to her. He's her biggest influence at the moment. I do understand he's special to her and I just want the kiddo to be happy. End game.
So it was a good visit .. it was still a very difficult one for numerous discussions and I am wore out. LOL .. I did ask her why does she get to dump her gunk on me and I'm suppose to accept it all and she just gets to feel better and I'm left to cope with the pieces of what she's shared .. obviously there is a whole lot more going on at the moment and that's all good. She's my kid and I love as well as accept her. It's just hard to reconcile at the moment. I did point out she really expects a lot and then doesn't want to give in return some slack for it all. She agreed sometimes she wasn't fair about how she approached things and I was left holding the bag.
I'm taking time to breath and making sure I'm taking care of me. I am tired and feeling ill at the moment. Oh not adding the jack ass is being a jack ass, short paying and feeling justified .. I'm going to let it all roll. I miss John's saying sometimes an ass is just an ass .. let's call them what they are.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Hi, Serenity, I hope you get well soon. I was just thinking about some of the ESH you've shared with me over this year this evening, actually. Grateful you are here :) Wish you and yours all the best.
Hey girl - so, so sorry you've been sick....I too send well wishes for a fast recovery. Holidays + sick = stress city for this gal. Much of what you wrote about your girl wanted to pave her own path really resonates with me. I have 2 boys and they've taken a wickedly wild path with many circumstances that were avoidable and consequences that have me SMH. Yet still, even when they ask what I think or for my opinion, they do their own thing.
I will say that I do see progress. In me, in them - all around. There are still starts/stops but for the most part, there is forward progress. The life they have is so vastly different than I ever hoped for them, I am literally amazed daily that they are still upright (and I am too).
It is so, so hard to watch them make mistakes and know there was a better/different way. Yet, I do see my are learning through the side-steps and I suspect your daughter is also. Sending you all tons of thoughts and prayers! Feel better (((hugs))).
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Oh girl, so very sorry you are still sick and battling crap. It's hard for us to take care of ourselves, our kids, our jobs, our SO's etc.....I hear you.
But, I'm glad your daughter is taking charge of her mental health for now and that she's learning her own lessons and appreciating them.
Sending you lots of mom support and HUGS, too.
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
