The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
How to I 'Live and Let Live' when the purchasing decisions of the AH are going to have negative ramifications for our family and I don't work outside of the house. It very hard not to become psychotic myself......
Separate accounts worked for me and my wife and then recently for cause I altered it even more to escape the madness by another alcoholic in our lives. Once a decision is made I stick to the choice and it works...course my wife isn't the alcoholic. (((Hugs)))
Hi, I posted recently about financia consequences, you could look for that post to see what people shared with me.
I am pretty new so I wont share too much, only to say that this is one of the hardest parts for me. The loss of control over my own well being that resulted from this was making me insane. I have since decided to try to become as financially independent as I can, and that is helping and contributing to my peace of mind. It's hard with a kid.
I definitely identify with what you're saying
Live is where you need tot do whats right for you and your children - its giving yourself permission to take control of what you need to for you and your children, first things first, you and your children. Seperating finances might be the solution.
Alcoholics and money dont do well together so taking action on that front would be important and would be you living. Your free to live, taking control of your own affairs.
The letting live part to me talks about allowing another adult human the opprotunity to make their own decisions and to fully experience the consequences of each and every decision they make. Due to the fact they are sick, alcoholics decisions usually have quite fast and strange at times consequences and so its about staying out of each and every of and not assisting, cleaning up controlling or stopping the inevitable crisis fro appearing. Most recovered alcoholics will talk about it being the pain and uncomfortable consequences that wakes them up.
Its all about sorting out the responsibilities. Your husband is not a healthy thinker and makes bad decisions and so its up to you to get healthy thinkig and make good decisions regardless of what he says, does, promises etc. Unfortunately the language spoken by drinkers is mostly nonsense often coming from their truth which can change minute by minute. We can also be the exact same due to the nature of the disease and its effect on us.
