The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been a long time coming. Years of excuses, acting irresponsible, loss of integrity & trust, intimacy,
efforts to make me feel irrational, talk down to me, lying to me, hiding his drinking.
I have a small daughter and currently lack childcare to attend a meeting. He's going to be an inpatient for 28 days. It will be 7 days before we can communicate.
I don't know what kind of community or conversation I can expect here, but I thought I'd try this board out.
Welcome to MIP carrotseed - glad you found us and glad that you shared. In my area, there are some meetings that provide day care for free - just FYI. I'm blessed to be in a large metro so thought I'd share.
As you have lived, alcoholism is a progressive disease. It's good that he's in rehab, and hopefully will choose recovery. It's a tough road for them and almost tougher for us. We are the ones who've tried to hold it all together while the disease progressed. Most of us find support, help and recovery for ourselves in Al-Anon - the disease reaches beyond the drinker and affects almost all who live with or love them. We develop unhealthy means of coping, thinking and dealing with the insanity. For me, Al-Anon really helped to unravel all that 'chaos' and work on bringing me back to a saner, healthier place.
If you want, you can also explore online meetings here - look up to the top left and you'll see the schedule and the link to the meeting room. If you are interested in the Steps we use for recovery, you can look to the top right - there's a link to the Step Board. If you want to share there, you will need to rejoin as it's a different 'place' but you can certainly use the same 'name' if desired.
Again - so glad you joined right in - keep coming back! There is hope and help in recovery!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi carrotseed, glad youre here and glad that you shared. This board can be an extremely useful tool when were faced with the effects of alcoholism. Its a great place to start to open up about your feelings and to share your experience, strength and hope with others who understand. Then when youre ready you can attend face to face meetings in your area if you choose. I can relate to what you have shared, my alcoholic husband (AH) lacks responsibility in my eyes. Hes currently attempting sobriety, but has not yet chosen recovery. Alanon has taught me the tools I need to survive and actually feel at peace in all the drama and chaos. Ive learned to pay close attention to what Im feeling and how Im reacting and its brought a lot of calm to my life. Ive also learned Im not alone and there are others who share similar experiences as me and that has brought me peace. I hope you keep coming back (((hugs))).
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- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
Glad you are here. I know how scary that situation is. I work in treatment and am in recovery also. Glad he went to treatment, but this is time to focus on YOU. Hit up alanon. Keep expectation low on him. 28 days will NOT fix him. More will be revealed. In the meanwhile, seek out your own recovery.
-- Edited by pinkchip on Sunday 3rd of December 2017 01:54:48 PM
