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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> adopting new roles
Post Info TOPIC: adopting new roles
Lele


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adopting new roles
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this is my first post in this forum, so I'm sorry if it's a bit all over the place. my mother has struggled with alcoholism for the past 5 years, and recently I've reached a breaking point. it's gotten to the point where Im not happy coming home anymore, and im constantly in fear of another relapse (she's been trying to get help but she thinks she can still drink and control herself. she proved herself wrong several times already). I still love her. she is my mom. nothing will change that and the memories I have with her. but recently my younger brother, still in grade school, told me I was lucky that I remembered mom when she was nice and good. naturally my heart shattered and I got choked up. for a while now I've known that only my mom can choose not to drink, I can't "fix" this problem myself and im not to blame. at this point though, it's gotten bigger than myself and i want to help my younger brother too. our mom is now focusing on herself, as she should be, but I still feel the need to help my brother. I know I'm not offering much advice for others yet, but I would like to know if anyone has advice on what to say to my brother. hes felt robbed of a mother figure many times and I've tried to fill that gap for him as best as I can, but I just want him to be happy during this. he deserves the best. thank you for listening :)

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Leah
Freetime


~*Service Worker*~

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I'm sorry you are going through this, and I admire how you want to help your brother. Living with alcoholism is very tough on anyone, and none of us can cope alone. Please look into Alateen meetings for yourself and brother. Here is a link where you can find meetings: al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/find-an-alateen-meeting/

I think just listening to your brother and letting him know that his feelings are valid, and that things can get better for him, would be a great thing to do.

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Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Hey Leah - welcome to MIP. So glad you found us and glad that you shared. I second what freetime has suggested - see if you can engage him in recovery so he knows he's not alone and there is hope and help for those of us affected by this disease.

Keep coming back - you too are not alone!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Hello Lele Depending on your brother's age he might be able to attend alateen meetings Held in most communities (check the white pages.) Alanon meetings might also be appropriate You can attend together Here you both will find the tools and understanding that will provide the support needed to live life while living with this dreadful disease . Keep coming baxk here as well

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
WestMan


Senior Member

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If you can get him to an Ala-teen meeting that would probably be beneficial to him. With my AW at rehab I wasn't sure what to do for our kids. They are taking it all really hard. I was able to help them up to a point but they seemed to need their own outlet.

Don't discount the positive impact you are having in his life. You being a consistently safe adult that he can count on is invaluable.



-- Edited by WestMan on Saturday 25th of November 2017 12:08:52 PM

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Maresie


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I am.glad you.are reaching out to.al.anon.  There are many.tools in.al.anon.you.can use to make your life easier 

 

 



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Maresie
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> adopting new roles