The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thinking about Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs. But the writer questioned what are the exact nature of his/her wrongs? She realized that many "wrongs" had to do with her hurting herself such as wondering if she was good enough, was she worthy of love, and/or was she too damaged to heal, etc. She began wondering if there was truth to these notions, because she could look at a more realistic, loving way of seeing herself.
Reminder: Living with alcoholism has taken a huge toll on my self-esteem. As a result, I may not recognize how many of my wrongs are built upon a faulty sense of self. That's why the Fifth Step is so enlightening and so cleansing. Together with my Higher Power and another person, I can even change life-long patterns.
Quote from Alateen--Hope fof Children of Alcoholics: ...If no one knows us as we really are, we run the risk of becoming victims of our own self-hatred. If we can be loved by somebody who sees us as we are, we can then begin to accept ourselves. Others rarely think we're as bad as we do.
My personal healing started with a few therapists, trying to undo the damage to my self-esteem. But the real progress has taken place since program. I was so amazed that my sponsor could come up with assets I never saw, considered, or believed to be true. We worked on an asset list along with other daily homework. I'm definitely a work in progress, but I can honestly say thanks to Alanon I no longer treat myself with hatred or disgust. I've come to like and love many things about myself, and continue to look for "wrongs" that I can improve upon, Lyne
God Morning Lyne I agree, discovering the exact nature of our wrongs as Step 5 suggests may sound difficult at first but working it, by going inward, becoming honest with myself, God and another, i did find that all I needed to set myself free from a lifetime of low self esteem and self worth was to be honest, and see myself as I really am by making asset and gratitude lists.
Thanks for your service .
I have walked the steps a few times, but in reading today's passage, I realized that my largest character flaw (at least at the moment) is a lack of trust. I do not trust myself, I do not trust others (including family and friends) and I have just started to trust in my Higher Power. I am often surprised to hear other people describe me; it sounds as if they are talking about someone else. I have made a gratitude list for a while, but didn't an asset list. A new habit to start for me, I think.
Well, my day is off to a really interesting and amazing start. I hope you have a wonderful day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thank you also skorpi and Betty for your shares and ESH. I do believe that each day presents me opportunities to grow, learn and become more authentic. I see this as a direct result of this program which includes the steps. I can relate to the lack of trust --- it took me a while to trust the process, the program, people and also a higher power.
I had a habit of running on self-will for so, so long. Leaning into the program felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar yet comforting when I could truly surrender and let go. Step 5 did show me that the way I viewed self was vastly different than how others see me as well as how my HP sees me.
A blessed Monday is my prayer for all of you. It's cold here this morning and I am reminded that I really enjoy 3 of 4 seasons only. Yet - if it weren't for winter, I do know my productivity might be way less as I sure love to play outside when the weather allows me to do so!!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
