The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A lovely program friend of mine relocated to HI (Jerry's lovely islands) in July and I've missed her dearly. We've struggled to catch each other live because of life and the time differences, but finally did connect and talked Saturday for almost 4 hours!!!!
She sent this to me today and I just wanted to share it with my MIP family! (((Hugs)))
~~~~~ "People who love through their unevolved solar plexus center may try to control you.
They may use anger, disappointment, guilt, judgment, coldness, indifference, or criticism to get you to do what they want.
Or, they may try to control you by withdrawing their love.
You may find it challenging to follow your own path instead of doing what someone else wants you to do.
You may be so compassionate and loving that you want to please others by fulfilling their wishes.
Extend this wonderful compassion to yourself. Your well-being and your life are more important than making other people's personalities feel good."~~~~~
This fits very well with some events going on in my world of late. My hope is it speaks to you too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I believe certain people feel absolutely entitled to #take#
They may not be all.alcoholic on a level but they feel absolutely entitled.
I am almost programned to give, be thoughtful, kind and helpful. I have had to tirn that around to be kind, loving and thoughtful to me. If I have something left I am willing to be measured in my generosity.
Boundaries are everything to me. Every day. Every hour, every month. The othet is being busy and very proactove for myself. Then I dont have the energy to be so in tune with every one else.
I like helping and being supportive and I like being responsible and I like turning others responsibilities over to them as a priority. I know lots of people feel and are needy and I know what the needy feeling is like. I was like them until I reached the program and sat with the elders and my sponsors for lesson after lesson after lesson and I learned how to be appropriate in life; learning the respect that comes with allowing others to take care of their responsibilities and not messing with their process or trying to own their outcomes. I never got a trophy or medal in the program for being the hero often I got resentments and unfulfilled expectations. I love to watch the fellowship grow without trying to own their growth. This weekend I went over and gave a female member of our Sunday meeting a hug along with affirmations because she has recently changed soooo much and reflects the changes back into the room. I thanked her from bringing her recovery out in the open so that others can see that it works when you work it. She knew how to relapse and now knows how to stay on track. What a beautiful outcome.
I changed also...my avatar is named Pola...she is a Pola Bear (big one) toy I got for my wife who is leaving home again for another 2 month visit to central Cal. family. Now she has me and Pola waiting for her to return. LOL this isn't a small stuffed animal. Pola Bear...get it? ((((hugs))))
(((Jerry))) - I love Pola! What an adorable plush.....the little guys here are infatuated with 'babies' - that's what they call them. It does remind me of when my two were little - they also loved plushies!
Hang close to us as your wife travels - we got your back. I am so grateful you are part of my journey!
(((Maresie))) - great share and I'm so with you on the boundaries.....most days, they are the saving grace for me between serenity and slipping. I am still a work in progress and most of what happened recently has much to do with my own expectations.
(((Betty))) - so, so agree - it is my daily prayer for continued growth and to be of service.
Make it a great day all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have found that I am a HUGE people pleaser, and for some reason, I would rather make someone else "feel good" than me. I am currently trying to ponder why I do this? Why do I put others before myself?
I am a work in progress, for sure!
Namaste
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
