The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The ODAT reading for October 21st speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and taking nobody else inventory but our own. The reading goes on to say that at first we are surprised to discover that sometimes we may be at fault and that our responses could have been different. Before program we often may use many destructive tools to justify our behavior so as to place blame on others. This reading is suggesting that we must focus on ourselves, search out where we have brought on troubles to ourselves by interfering and then finally seeing the truth that we have must begin inventorying ourselves in order to recover. The questions are very powerful. It asks:
Do I have actually criticize others? Then I will learn to live and let live
Am I fearful picturing with dread what the future will bring.? Then I will let go and let God and live only for this day Do I aggravate family problems with temper tantrums and uncontrolled words and actions? I must remind myself to think so, I am consistent and I will put first things first.
The quote is "I find the slogans a great help in taking a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself"
Powerful page and reminder to eliminate gossip judgment, blame and criticizing from my interactions with others. and use the slogans as a support .
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I pray that I may keep my eyes trained above the horizon of myself: I pray that I may see infinite possibilities for spiritual growth.
Thank you for your service, Betty. I'm getting better at not blaming outside circumstances and people for what is wrong in my life. I still can get sucked into gossiping and I'm working on that. I don't do it much, but still some, unfortunately.
Thank you Betty for the daily and your service. Thanks to both of you for your shares and ESH. I know that when I can keep my focus on me, myself and I and allow others to be who they are in the moment, I am most serene! And - yes - it is easier some days than others. Progress and not perfection keeps me headed in the right direction and I'm so grateful that I can choose to be happy over being right. I learned that in recovery and it has been a great gift.
Happy Saturday all - we are to get some strong storms today - a bit later on. I'm heading out for my Saturday morning meeting and then cooking brunch. College football this afternoon and keeping my fur-baby calm - she hates storms! Make it a lovely day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you, Betty for your service.
I like this ODAT today, as I am in "early" recovery and need reminders every so often!
I have found that I don't tend to criticize others (as I am usually very open-minded), but my failing is that I "always" feel I have a better way. So deep down, that is still a criticism, even though I may not express it! Program has helped me to accept how others do things, even though they are not the way I would do them. This particular tool has been instrumental in the harmony between me and my 17 yr. old DS. I cherish this tool and try very hard to maintain it in my life.
Since I categorize myself as a "planner," the second line hits me hard... 'Am I fearful of what the future will bring?' You bet! Sometimes it can keep me in a place I don't want to be. I am learning to let go and allow my HP to guide me... not always easy.
It seems the easiest one for me is that I no longer REACT. No temper tantrums, no loud words, no threats. I say what I mean, mean what I say, and try very hard to not say it mean!
I will freely admit, that all of these things are easier to do AWAY from my AH.
IAH - take care of you furbaby - I had a dog once that was terrified of thunder... it was hard to control him! Also enjoy that rain... we here are setting up for record temps over 100 degrees! Ugh! Where is the Autumn I have been dreaming of? LOL!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
(((((Betty)))))) thank you for this..How easy it is to justify, rationalize my wrongs instead of just LOOKING AT ME...and my part...I still catch me criticizing another's behavior, now if it is directed at me, I do have the right to set boundary and not allow, but yes, live and let live, even if I have to cut them loose because they are not healthy for me...oh yea, still fear the future..life , financially, is getting harder, i am running out of stuff to cut back on....so living for this day is something i need to do..Dunno if there is any divine intervention on earthly stuff life finances, but oh well...I keep trying to find a bit more work and I HATE the work I do...but its good money and I have to roll with working less hours with the better money.....firs things first...with all the hurricanes/storms, insurance companies are raising homeowners policies..I am really afraid of this because I can hardly pay what I am doing now...but I can't control..just ask for other bids...and charge on the card or better yet, downsize to smaller place in less expensive area....gonna just have to follow my inner higher self....I hate gossip and am trying my best to live and let live as long as it isn't in my face..then I'm going to stand up for me...but still, I need to just set the boundary, stand up for me and not judge or condemn...if I have to?? move on, let them go....if i find myself always complaining or passing judgement on another, I need to ask me "WHAT am I doing with this person who brings out my worst, LOL???" and make changes in ME
I've got enough problems of my own to be judging others or working their inventory....I don't allow others to work my inventory, I set the boundaries and tell them point blank to address my behavior if need be, but do NOT address my character...as I would do with them and I notice when confronting someone, I stick to Me, what their behavior impacted ME and what I will/will not accept re: behavior...i stay away from working their inventory...not my place..not my right.....
-- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 21st of October 2017 03:33:40 PM
