The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a next step that aligns with it.
The writer suggests that she never asked self f this was how she wanted to behave. Nor did she consider if the behavior she used when reacting got her what she wanted or encouraged her to feel good about herself. Loud, angry words and actions showed her frustrations and pushed away hope for peaceful resolutions. Using Easy does it helped her to quiet her inner self which helped to quiet her outer self.
Today's Reminder -- I am seeking a saner approach to everything I encounter. The slogans can be valuable sources of sanity in chaotic situations. Today, if I am tempted to acct out of anger or frustration, I will remember that "Easy does it."
Today's Quote -- from ODaT in Al-Anon --- "I will try to apply "Easy does it" to every incident that might increase the tension and cause an explosion."
For me, this slogan helped me to zip my lips when I first arrived in Al-Anon recovery. I was one of those who wanted to preach, teach, explain and justify just about any/everything. I've learned that I can use way fewer words to state my peace - including Yes/No as complete sentences. That was a true revelation for me as I had never left Yes or No standing alone --- I had always added more to it.
Nothing I said, Nothing I read, Nothing I did changed my Alcoholic's behavior/disease. My reactions before recovery felt 'good' until they didn't. Easy Does It helps me to quiet myself down long enough to respond in a healthy way vs. react like an insane person, as I often did before.
Happy Friday the 13th to one and all. Make it a great day! My mother's alcoholism has reached a crisis point, and I may be making a road trip to AZ tomorrow. Please send prayers for her, my father and self - I was on the phone half the night with them and have already talked with my dad this morning. Have to call my mother in a bit, and prayer for kind words and compassion...it will be a difficult call.
If anybody has any suggestions for an 83 year old please let me know. I've been in treatment and then had my boys in treatment many, many times and I've never seen elderly there. So - if anyone knows of different option for elder unhealthy people, please shout at me here or PM. TIA!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Prayers to you and your mother! I will have you in my thoughts and heart today!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Great post. Praying for your mother and all of your family. I need to work on this area because I am still reacting. It really does not get us what we want and causes further damage. I don't want to be this way anymore. I am new to this program and I believe that years of behaving this way probably takes a little effort and time to unlearn. I am ready to unlearn the behaviors of yelling, reacting and manipulating that comes from living in a chaotic world with alcoholism. For today I will try to remember easy does it. Thank you again for a wonderful share and have a safe trip as you go to care for your mother.
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
(((IAH))). I am so sorry about your moms situation. You are dealing with every generation! I am sending positive thoughts and prayers as you try to handle this in the best way possible. The answers and guidance will come; thinking of you!
(((IAH))) Sending prayrs nd positive thoguths for you and your family Easy does it isis an appropriate slogan for this situation . My sister is 85 years old the famiiy has just taken away her keys as she has become a danger to all.
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I pray that I may keep my eyes trained above the horizon of myself: I pray that I may see infinite possibilities for spiritual growth.
