The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The C2C reading for today speaks about our tendency to "react in kind", to different situations that arise. The reading points out that by doing so, we are turning control of our emotions and spiritual being over to another.
It suggests that "reacting" in this manner is destructive, andt does not serve us well. The reading goes on to remind us that if we take time to stop , in every situation, process what is going on, and respond from a healthy place within, we will be better able to hold on to our serenity.
In other words if we remember that we are powerless over people places and things, we will not allow them to destroy our serenity. We can treat everybody with courtesy and respect and move on .
The Quote is from Al-Anon is for Adult Children of Alcoholics; "my freedom and independence do not depend on any act of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitudes and feelings. If I am always reacting, and I am never free
Prior to program, I did not have a clue that I was constantly "reacting" and giving away my power. I could think of no other way to respond . Enter Al-Anon ,attending meetings, where there is no crosstalk or advice giving, and slowly but surely, I began to see the value of processing what somebody says, and responding in healthy fashion. What a difference it has made in my interactions!!!
Hi thanks for today's reading. Reacting and giving away my power has been my life for the past few years. Always being bombarded with the next crisis my AH got himself into sober or not. Personally taking his criticism anger hateful comments about how awful I was for whatever he thought I did, so I would react to defend myself. 2 days ago I just was at my bottom!! Told AH I was done with him and his selfishness and cheating. I walked away. I was calm and not crying while I was talking for once. I can't continue with this man anymore. Of course you know the next part,. Few hours later when he sobers up enough to see the power is turned off in the house, we are in Texas, you have to have AC, he has no food, no girlfriend, no car, homeless in 2 weeks, no job, no money. He calls and says take him to rehab. I do my best not to react negatively and calmly tell him he needs to make his own arrangements. In the end he goes. He did enter a 30 day program which I am grateful, though he left me with having to clean out the house in 100 degree heat with no AC. I now have time for me to focus on my future and what I need in life without his distractions and chaos. I need to get healthy so I can be happy joyous and free again. I am moving closer to a city that has meetings and hope to go to my first f2f this weekend. I Bollinger want to be that person who is always reacting to some drama that doesn't even belong to me. I need to work the program get a sponsor and keep the focus on me now. Today I can breathe.
((((((Freefly))))))) way to go :) sending you support, and cooler breezes from New York, though it's supposed to be 90 here today we don't have AC either. I'll be sweating it out with you up here, good job focusing on yourself, and I hope to hear great things about your first face-to-face meeting as I will be trying to make my first next week. So glad to hear the Miracles of this program working hugs your way stay cool and remember to hydrate
I too had no clue that I was allowing other people, places and things to determine my joy/lack of. I just thought all others were doing 'to me' and I reacted as such. It never dawned on me before recovery that I could pause, consider the facts, consider a response and do better. I don't have to yell when another is yelling; I don't have to climb aboard the crazy train because it's arrived. I am and can be my own person, full of peace and serenity and put me first to protect my sanity and serenity.
(((Flyfree))) - good on you for putting you first. Breathe and just focus on one day at a time...this program works well when we work it.
Happy Saturday to one and all - been to my meeting, cooked brunch and am considering a good book horizontal on a comfy couch! We still have hot weather for the next day/two! Make it a great day all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
