The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My alcoholic mother fell and broke her leg for the second time this year. This time she admitted to the ER doctors that she had been mixing pills and vodka. They wouldn't let her go home at discharge for safety reasons so now she's in a skilled nursing facility to rehab her leg. She required a weaning protocol to keep the DTs to a minimum. I've been attending Al-Anon and Nar-Anon for a couple of years. Unfortunately I married an alcoholic, and we have a 21 y.o. addicted to marijuana and who knows what else. Now my life is on hold to help take care of my mother, even though she never really took care of me. Although my emotions are in check, I am tired and want to run far away from all of them.
Thanks for letting me vent. There are no meetings close to my mother's house.
Welcome, Tired. You probably know the benefit of attending AlAnon meetings. While there are none available near your mother's house, you may want to attend online meetings. There's a link to online meetings in the yellow box in the top left corner.
Keep coming back.
WOW!! Lisa, that is a bummer....I would be "fed up" as well, with all that is coming at you....I wold keep attending Al-Anon and Nar-Anon and let all the others either flop or get it together....You can't do anything, anyway, to control, or help them, SHE is in a hospital and being cared for...your 21 year old is adult and free to do what he/she wants, and your husband, NONE of them are in your control, so "running away" , we call it DETACHMENT meaning that, yea, we can love them, pray for them (if you pray) and wish them well, but we take care of our own lives, and let them do what they gotta do...this is their paths..their lessons...their life song...We cannot ever write the life song of another....If we can't stand their music?? we put some emotional distance by caring for ourselves and let the chips fall where they may......so sorry you are surrounded by substance abuse....that really is hard...i know...been there and did that (had it in my face) and I did the best thing by me and that was to put some distance between me and the chaos and drama and look after myself.......are there any meets near you?? OR, on line is good....they have them here every day....online has worked great for me......as long as you are able to share and listen and learn, hey!!! online is a very good substitute and if you don't have a sponsor, I would grab onto one because a good sponsor is worth their weight in gold re: working the steps an support an guidance, etc.......I hear ya about being tired.....I would be too....hang in there, keep coming back...i'm glad you showed up here...lots of good support and caring people...
Welcome to MIP Lisa - glad you found us and glad that you shared. I am sorry for all that the disease is bringing your way - I can relate to your share.
I also would suggest the online meetings - they've been a lifeline for me at times I could not get out to a meeting. Of course you can also always post here, and we'll share ESH with you as best we can.
Take good care of you while your mother is in the rehab center - stock up on serenity and stay present in one day at a time. That's what has carried me through the difficult times with this disease.
Keep coming back - you're not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Yes I can understand you feeling tired, frustrated, etc. Dealing with my A takes so much patience, compassion, and Alanon tools. My A has been sober for 3-4 months but of course she is not well. She is just starting to recover and her denial is strong. Much of my family dislikes her and can't understand why I stay. So although my circumstances are different, I relate to your share. The only way I have gotten through this is from Alanon and all it has to offer. I am a very grateful member, Lyne
((LKS))) I am terribly sorry to read of the pain this disease is causing your family. You are not alone and as others have indicated there is help and hope, so please do keep coming back