Good morning all, well my two weeks in my brother's house are up and my daughter and I are going home today. It's been a hard couple of weeks in ways, no contact, well no direct contact, just the neighbour getting the message to me that he went to the hospital with his liver but didn't stay in. I did call the neighbour a couple of days later to see how he was and he told me he'd stopped drinking and was on tablets from the doctor. I suppose I have been going through some grief, withdrawal, trying to process stuff. I got to lots of meetings, al-anon, aa ad na, as I was closer to meetings here so it was easier. I've been working diligently on a first step again. Did some knitting, reading, watched lots of Netflix, did some art, and so on. It was good to know I would not be getting any nasty texts and there wasn't a risk of bumping into him every time I went outside the door.

I have also been feeling kind of sick, actually have a temperature, so kind of weak and tired with that. Qi kind of dread going home. There is something about the proximity to him that just does my head in. I liked it that here I don't know what he's doing. Don't know if van is outside the house or the pub or what. I've been thinking about him alright but the obsession isn't being triggered all the time. I know what I need to do is learn to soothe myself through that anxiety, that he's in the pub, that he's meeting someone else, etc. I was in such a bad place when I met this man 4 years ago and he came to represent so much to me. But I feel like he treated me so badly over and over, through drink, yes, but I think there are other issues going on as well, he fits a lot of the narcissistic personality disorder stuff too. I feel so broken after all of it, lime I am starting from scratch at 51 years of age having to rebuild myself and my life.please pray for me going home today, thanks everybody.