I have thought about the topic of feeling hurt in the chat . I went back and re-read things. I see their is alot of others that have felt the same/simular way. Am I supposed to apologise for expressing my feelings of my 1st experience in chat ? I've thought and thought, thats how I felt. I see where its said feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. Why did I feel the feelings I felt ? Must of been a reason. I wanted support and maybe even advice. I can see that there is alot of that on the board even so I was told its not done here. I hate to see the issue sidetracked. I was looking for support and I thought that was what chat was for. I am hearing about people wanting to learn and grow. Beings this is not obviously a new issue , don't you think it warrants some attention instead of defending and justifying people getting hurt in chat that are looking for support, new or not ?

"We had our voices silenced by alcoholism in our lives. We have learned that our own feelings don't matter"

When someone is new and they express feelings of a 1st experience in chat not being aware of whatever this fish night is, and some of the responses are comments like "All new persons feel it at first" "It's not uncommon to feel hurt, after awhile... ""Its ok for me to have fun and not worry about others" I'm happy to see so many people defending right to enjoy chat" "Its selfish to think we can go to chat and everyone stop their own needs and focus on one" "Don't expect answers from total strangers" .............This was my 1st exp and I was even said to be negative and their was concern expressed about how newcomers would see that. I am one.

"We had our voices silenced by alcoholism in our lives. We have learned that our feelings don't matter"

 On many boards I have looked at there are advance tips on what to expect, guidelines, and stuff about behavior before entering. This one doesn't have that. I didn't think it out of place to suggest it for other newcomers to not be hurt. I can't say for sure what I expected, but it wasn't what happened. I recall asking a few questions when I first went in . No one mentioned anything about this fish night, whatever it means. I saw some comments about a newbie FLY by. I know there was some acknowledgment I was there. I remember some asked a couple of questions and I saw some ((((()))))) which I am now assuming is hugs that I was unaware it meant that at the time. There was plastic money comments. I was overwhelmed when I went in and when I left. I supposedly hurt someone in the way I left too.  I just flat out couldn't keep up. I didn't see everything. When alot of others left I just followed suit. I just didn't know what else to do at the time.                     .......I would think that maybe some newcomers wouldn't say anything and maybe just not come back. I thought about it. Then I decided that my voice doesn't have to be silenced. I didn't want to sit on the feelings. I decided to be brave enough evenso I am so lost at the time to speak up even so I feel scared to do it. I have gotten alot of insite and direction out of it and can better see whats happening.

I did not intend in any way to rain on someones parade. I still don't have an explanation of FISH NIGHT and what it is, only that it is on Friday. And its some kind of fun time. I think its GREAT that there is fun to be had here. But to expect and assume a newcomer to already know about it, what if they didn't ? I wondered in NOT knowing and still don't. I DO know to be VERY CAUTIOUS from now on. I DO know people have been defending RIGHTS to fun I had no knowledge of as if I am trying to take it away from them and expect them not to have it. That is so far from the truth. I am all for fun . Had I known ahead of time, it would of been different.

I have not had much support in my life. I'm not sure how support feels sometimes. If I missed it, under the circumstances, I am truly sorry and meant no offense to anyone. I am not even sure how to ask for it. I'm scared to try sometimes because I may be taken wrong or don't know how to word it in the right way. I need help with that. I am learning how to. I hope I can learn here.

Beings I have no spouse at the time , I may still feel out of place. There are many here.

Thanks to all who gave me feedback. I hope what I wrote can be read without defensiveness and in perspective of a newcomer and their feelings. Not someone coming to attack anyone. I am not here for that. I spoke for awareness.

Well not sure if this is complete. I have always tryed to express my appreciation for your responses and if I ever leave it out again that doesn't mean its not there. I go blank alot of times from shell shock. I am slow at many things. Under pressure I shut down and can't speak alot of the times. I hope that won't be taken as rude.

BLESSINGS AND LOVE IN RECOVERY