The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page considers the struggling newcomer to AlAnon, and suggests not overwhelming them further with a flood of advice. A warm welcome, some encouragement and reassurance is suggested.
A newcomer's arrival can benefit all as it is an opportunity for them to find relief and hope, and for us to be reminded of how we were when we came in, and how we have developed in our recovery. Sharing our experience, strength and hope solidifies the lessons and tools in our minds while helping others to see how the program works.
The unattributed quote: "I pray to be guided in my efforts to help a newcomer. Let me be selective in my sharing of experience, strength and hope, to make sure his or her needs are met."
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I am grateful that when I arrived at AlAnon, I received a warm welcome, heard that it had worked for others when nothing else had, and was left to reach for more if I chose to. Such a response allowed me to search out what I was ready for without feeling pressured.
The benefits have been incredible, I'm glad I stuck around
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Good Morning Paul, I am glad that you stuck around as well. I love how alanon is a fellowship of equals and that we respect these principles in how we interact with each other.
Sharing our experience, strength and hope, and not giving advice is a really an uplifting experience for everyone involved.
I love how program reinforces the fact that the newcomer is the most important person in the room. This is because when we share our experience strength and hope we get to see how much we've grown and how the program has helped and the newcomer benefits by our sharing as well.
This is a powerful program and I'm so glad I'm a part of it .
Me three - so glad Paul and all stuck around (little rhyming...unintended)!!! I vividly remember when I attended my first meeting at the group I now call home. Lovely people were welcoming and did not overwhelm me or overload me with the program 'to dos' or their own personal stories. They just nodded, suggested they understood and told me there is hope and help in recovery.
I know my HP has that front in my mind so I am cautious, kind, courteous and welcoming for others who show up. It is who I aspire to be in all areas of my life and I no longer have to 'fake it until I make it'. I am so grateful that the program gave me the freedom to be just me, and to be a loving, kind me who seeks more to understand than to be understood.
I readily admit there is always a bit of excitement when there is a new person. The journey to recovery is real and blessed and knowing one has appeared looking for a different/better way does consistently take me back to where I started. That's a lovely think as I see now and know now it is way better and the best is yet to come!
Thank you for your service Paul and thank you for the daily. Thank you Betty & Paul for your ESH! Happy Monday to one and all.....
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I will never forget my first meeting, and now 4 years later, it is my home group. I was so anxious that I called my son for moral support . He was wonderful at that moment and was very happy I was going. Both he and I thought I would learn how to fix my A, and boy were we surprised! I recall feeling lost in that the meeting had a pattern to which everything was new to me-slogans, readings at the beginning and end, and some of the folks were so relaxed and unstressed. I couldn't believe it because I was such a mess! So I do feel for the newcomer! Lyne
The newcomers are essential to our groups- we were all newcomers once. When I first joined i went right to step 12 and had all the answers. Actually this was a really good way to start! I brought out my long dormant emotion- and gave me hope, and a vision.
Guided by older members, and by their good example I learned more subtle methods of 'passing it on'. Essentially, by practising the steps myself and demonstrating the strength of my own recovery.
Welcoming newcomers is a primary task for Alanon- but it is by now means the only one. I believe that we need to shepherd younger members through the programme- by promoting sponsorship, and by keeping our meetings healthy.
Considering my unhealthy state when I first came into the rooms this was some task! Getting through the middle steps is tricky- especially with most others are trying the same thing! But I found this to be a necessary part of the journey- a learning curve.
Thank you for your service, Paul, and for all the ESH above. Whenever we have a newcomer in the two meetings I attend, one of the topics is "how we came to Alanon" or "Step 1". I don't know if this is the norm everywhere, but I find this really great. When I came to my first meeting, hearing in a general way what brought others to Alanon and how the program helped them was very reassuring, because that showed me that "these people" understood much of what I was going through. The fact that everyone talked about their own experience, progress and failings, encouraged me - that it wasn't only me, that I was not alone, and that it was OK to admit my defects. Today I'm especially grateful (the longest gratitude list I've ever made!!) - among other things I went to my first Adult children of alcoholics meeting, and I can already see that this program can benefit me as well... Love to all :)
. I love how alanon is a fellowship of equals and that we respect these principles in how we interact with each other.
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