The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I hope nobody minds if I share this, I can't talk about it to anyone right now. My ex-husband just called me and he is getting paroled after spending 25 years in prison. It blew my mind when he told me. Where I live they have almost abolished parole and I was not expecting it. I have to wait for my son to get home from work to tell him, as he might have some kind of reaction. I cried, I did not think he would ever be a part of my son's life again or meet my grandson. My son was 10 years old when his father got locked up. It is going to be a challenge re-establishing relationships. I thought that someone might understand because it reminds me of someone reaching sobriety after years and trying to be a part of their family again. I am going to have to set some boundaries, as my ex-husband was talking a lot about things he wants to do that included my son and I. My son is a grown man now. I have no idea how he will take all of this, I know he will be happy but it might upset him too. My ex-husband went into prison a married man, and before he left I did so much for him, and now I have to make sure that we have an amicable relationship. It will be strange, I have never had to be the ex-wife because he was not around to deal with. I hope I can rise above the situation and be patient and mature. I will definitely be relying on my higher power. I will also have to remember to practice the pause and think about things before I make commitments. Thanks everyone, I know that this is not the usual posting. I want to have strength dealing with this and I think some of the things I have learned in Alanon will help me.
-- Edited by shrnp on Wednesday 19th of July 2017 02:03:06 PM
The first thing that comes to my mind is One Day at a Time. No sense in worrying today about what could happen tomorrow. You may find it all works out very nicely for everyone.
I know it's easy to say that from my perspective and a little more difficult from yours!! Prayers for your serenity and peace.
__________________
Bethany
"Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Abe Lincoln
Sending love and support Sharon, I'm sure this is a lot to take in right now and the best thing to be done is just to take a breath and see what happens going forward.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I too am sending you positive thoughts and prayers. It does sound like information overload....love that we have a program that reminds us to just do One Day at a Time and focus on the next right thing. Know that we're here for you however we can be!! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you everyone, one day at a time and the next right thing makes a lot of sense. I am mostly concerned about my son, he was such an angry little boy because of this. I am hoping everything is good, and God is with us all.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Sharon)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) WOW!!! Sounds like you got a good plan---Sending hugs and peace energy...I just stopped in to "read" and saw this and had to weigh in with my support
One of my personal slogans is "Don't project" which helps me not to future read with fear and that slogan contains the words "false evidence" which a fearful mind can dream up adnauseum(?). I rely on my relationship with my sponsor and the serenity prayers which helps often. I know this was an opportunity for me to react when I was there and did that with my alcoholic/addict and then the program is what I do first and foremost. Keep on keeping on and keep coming back. ((((Hugs))))
Thanks everyone. Jerry that is a good slogan I will have to remember that. FEAR: False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. I am still learning new slogans all the time.
