The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Every time I text my daughter or her daughters, i get more bad news about sister dearest
NOW her lungs are filling up with fluid so bad, her legs look like balloons...she has asked for hospice care, Wednesday , the doctors will re-eval her and give prognosis...she is going out in such a HAAARD way....Pain and suffering like I can't even imagine.....
My sister whom I lost in March, due to Alzheimers, I am not even over HER yet and SHE died quiet...peaceful.......no pain...just stopped eating/drinking and "poof" she went to her happy place....but THIS poor thing....OMG....I think she is fighting it and that can prolong someones life/if you want to call it life, and their suffering
I just asked the creator to either help her have a rebound of sorts and let her have SOME joy, or just take her home.....
I've been doing my sports, hanging out with folks I enjoy being around...working on my work mornings......playing with the dog and the puppies.....
today, as I do on my off days, I played tennis, then shot some basketball with 2 people at the gym, then I swam........Detach detach detach detach..Tomorrow I will work on my total body workout machine and go to work , get off around lunch time and maybe go for a swim or shoot some hoops b/c it will be too hot for the tennis..
I can't DO anything for her...I just can't afford to see her....paying off my car insurance now, Nobody I trust to watch my dogs if i DID fly out there, and I can't miss work....I just get by as it is...so its not doable...shes good with that..no worries....but OMG...she is going out in such a horrible, tortuous way......so sad......its hard not to think about her but I just MAKE me stay in the moment, do stuff that is fun for me, and give her over to her maker.......I just don't see this ending anyway but pain and more pain and real messy.....my heart breaks for her kids and mine who are there trying to help her.............this past April, when I COULD have taken a day or two to see her , my Bestie and I were BOTH gonna go see her and I had a babysitter for the dogs, she told me she didn't want me to see her, she was too sick, so maybe its best that now I CANT go...
I don't mind her dying, we all gotta do it, but to go out like this........Its awful!!!!!!
Anyway, I am bummed....gonna watch a good video I stole off youtube and get supper........Hugs to all of you.....I am so glad I came back..I keep saying that b/c it is true.....The warm welcome I got from some of you was humbling and beautiful....Like whatever mistakes I made in the past, here, meaning well, but at times being too blunt, has been forgiven becuz those of you who KNOW me, know, that I want to HELP...Never to hurt and if I ever do , again, mess up with my imperfect ways of communicating, I expect , if I don't catch it and make amends, for mods to bring me to task about it...... ......HUGS
-- Edited by mamalioness on Monday 10th of July 2017 05:19:40 PM
(((Rose))) - I'm glad you are back....I'm sending you tons of hugs - and am so sorry for what your sister is going through. Sending tons of prayers out for all of you - positive thoughts too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene