The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have two 'coming of age' stories... one happened when I was 17. I was doing well at school outwardly- but I was sleepwalking... I was heading for the streets. Being a farm boy I knew how to forage, and never actually went hungry.
Mum and dad came home from the pub about 7. Mum chipped at my sister, aged 11 or 12, because she didn't have teat ready. I piped up and said- look- she has got nothing to cook. I recall all this as plain as day. Mum turned to dad and said- 'that boy is getting too big for his boots, you had better sort him out'.
So not so long later Dad came out to our sleepout I shared with one of my brothers. He stormed in and told us both- that if we didn't like it around here we might as well f-off. And so the day after I left school I left home.
hey say ya'll kin take the kid out of the family, but y'all caint take the family out of the kid.
That is why I came into Alanon.
Fast forward to 2011. My SO has family in the USA so i tagged along. We were in NY so I wanted to go to Stepping Stones upstate. I had read "Lois Remembers" along with Bill W. and the Good Old Timers... to be honest i had idealised Lois and Bill as my mum and dad.
We hired a taxi from NY- it was a private guy out to make a living and he had his kid in the car.Being a kiwi I was delighted at this gung-ho arrangement. We were the only visitors. We got the royal treatment, I suppose, because we were from overseas. I wept at the table where Abby had 12th stepped Bill and they played a tape. I loved the swing in the porch area. We could walk through Lois and Bill's bedroom. I saw the Life Magazine beside Lois's chair with the article on Buddhism in it. I bough the DVD about the founding of Alanon from the Wilson's garage. Got to go up to Wits End where Bill penned the traditions.
This had a profound impact on me. I had come along from a small construction town in NZ.
I felt a strong and enduring affinity with all members of the 12 step movement. I could walk into a meeting, anywhere in the world and feel like I had come home.
Hi David, You reminded me that many years ago families operated under the concept that once a male child hit 18 he was to be out of the house--many of my male friends joined the Navy or Army at that time.
, So happy that you were able to visit "Stepping Stones", it certainly is an inspirational place. i took the railroad directly there and am impressed that you were able to hire an affordable private car for the trip.
Thank you David for your share.......how cool that you've traveled 'so far' in more ways than one! So glad you are part of my journey - I've never been to "Stepping Stones" - might have to consider that on my 'to-do list'....
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
