The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We are half way through another year - time goes so, so fast!
Today's reading talks about prayer and praying. The writer shares a story about a small child repeated his ABC's over and over again. An adult comes upon the child, asking what he's doing/saying. The child suggests he's praying - when corrected that those aren't prayers, but instead the ABC's, the child suggests that God understands exactly what's intended and can pull out the necessary words/message.
The meaning behind my prayers comes from my heart, not from my words - so powerful, simple and profound!
Today's Reminder --- Prayer is my most personal form of communication. I can pray by consciously thinking, writing, creating, feeling, and hoping. Whether I reach deep inside myself or turn outward toward the majority of nature, it is the spirit of prayer rather than its form that matters. Today I will let my heart speak.
Today's Quote from As We Understood ... "God meets me where I am . . . If I am just willing, He will come to me."
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I was raised with organized religion and felt that I had failed it and it had failed me - a mutual parting of the ways, if you will. The mention of God in the 12 Steps concerned me at first as I really was just not 'up for it'....
I was told I could choose anything, any source and entity that was greater than me - nature, group, literature, other - there was no pressure EVER to consider a HP as the one from my upbringing. This intrigued me as I had never considered an alternative to what I was raised to know/believe.
As time progressed in program, I came to feel better about me, what was going on and where I was going. Personally, I had gone from dread upon awakening and upon bedtime to some peace, one day at a time living, trusting the process and peaceful moments. The power of the program was working for me in spite of my stinking thinking and frame of reference of youth.
My concept of a higher power has changed over the years. I've gone from resenting the religion of my upbringing to appreciating the foundation that was planted. I have learned to pray for what will be instead of my own 'want list'...I have stopped assuming that my intellect and way is the best way and allowing life to unfold around me. It was uncertain, uncomfortable and ill-feeling in the beginning yet profoundly peaceful to move out of the lead position and instead trust in a power greater than I.
Today, I do feel as if my HP knows what I need even before I pray. I trust my life is as it should be, lessons are there to learn each day and all that I go through is for my personal growth and benefit. I know that I am heard whether I am on my knees, driving in my car, in line at a store or just facing a frightening issue. I do feel deep within I am not alone, and am grateful that I've adapted to a form of prayer that works for me.
I love this story - I do believe that when we can step out of the way and allow HP to lead, we will land where we should.
Happy Friday to one and all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
When I read this page earlier, I admit I did not give it the time or consideration I could have; I relate well to the first part of your journey and I still struggle with less than positive relationships between certain words and my past understanding. So grateful that the program allows, in fact encourages me to find/create a higher power with whom I'm comfortable, who comes to where I am rather than demanding I conform to it.
Thank you for sharing your experience and adding yet another example of how the program guides to hope and strength, regardless of the pain we may feel from our past.
Enjoy your Friday!
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
