Lovely share brother, absolutely wonderful. Your ESH reminded me that even when we are experiencing a powerful force such as the disease that unites us, there are blessed moments where we see clearly, without any doubt, the power of a higher power...

Thank you for sharing this - will carry it today as I venture on with what's next! (((Hugs)))

Jerry F wrote:

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My grand-son in law had a birthday celebration today and my grand-daughter made sure I was invited.  What's it like to just sit and watch a multi-generational family get together and just have simple, sane fun without a smidgen of alcohol?   Its not all about me.  I sat and just watched the goings on...no children screaming and crying and no adults displaying negative attitudes and speaking in low relaxed tones.  God where the hell was I?  I sat and just watched deeply amused and calm.  I reminded myself that there is the other side of the horror of alcoholism and drug addiction and that it is normal for many others like myself who don't require a program to be like that.  I am grateful deeply for the program.  I was grateful that the life I was born and raised in didn't exist there this afternoon as much as I am grateful for the program we have that allowed me to see, understand and participate in it our way. Mahalo Akua...Thank you God.   (((MIP))) 

-- Edited by Jerry F on Saturday 24th of June 2017 11:24:27 PM

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 (((Jerry)))))  I have 3 girls..one lives near me and SHE is the one who "disses" me at mothers day, makes NO effort to be with me, but she can be loving and affectionate when I reach out to her, lol..so i savor the good...let go the not so good......So, I see her when I can but i thoroughly enjoy the grandkids...they love me no matter what....I play with them outside and tho daughter dearest treats me like I am an afterthought, she is kind enough to share the kids with me with no reservations..So i thank her for that.....I look at the good in her and just take care of me...

she mentioned to me that she was sorry she forgot me on mothers day and I just told her "C--I have no expectations of you anymore and I am good..Its all good..I take care of me and on mother's day, I got with my friends and played some tennis, then we went to gym and shot some basketball and had FUN...I had fun because I got off my pity party and DID something!!! didn't sit around waiting and hoping that she would want to be with me...I just "hung out" with me and later found some pals to play the sports with......

I too, and so grateful for the program...I lots of times "do life" with just me and myself....when I go to the gym, I pretty much always find a soul or two to shoot some hoops with or take a swim with....my attitude towards my kids has changed...they have their own lives and save for the one girl who calls me regularly and shares her life with me regularly, the others seem to think I'll live forever and so "ok, if we diss mom, no big deal, she is always there"   well life is temporary and some day I WONT be here anymore and they will have to learn the hard lessons that I have had to learn and that is their journey, not mine...I dont' sit and wait anymore for anyone...

My cousin who thinks that she can call me last minute to go out and eat learned that lesson last Sunday...she texted me  "hey I am in town..lets go out and eat"   well, I texted back from the basketball court   "well nice to know you are here hope U R enjoying our nice weather --didn't know you were in town---thanks for the invite, but I am at gym, shooting hoops with my friends and I am ahead in points so see ya another time , if I am free----love and hugs"  and I hit the send button..

"sitting and observing"  my program in action and yea....NO alcohol...Just fun and frollick when I am not working.  observing how good this program works, if I work it......Jerry I love reading your posts....So happy to see you again....Rock on my good recovery brother!!!! 

shrnp wrote:

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Thanks for the share Jerry, I love my life without alcoholism in it. It is not very exciting but the little things like my grandson laughing brings me a lot of joy.

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 Meeee toooo...I had to cut loose or let go of the active alcoholics in my life...Yes, I love them, but at a distance...It has to be that way...my serenity and peace comes first, now...and Now i can enjoy the little things, like watching my puppy tear apart an empty ice cream carton and get the ice cream that was on the sides all over her velvety little black snout...I can sit out in my back porch and watch the birdies fly from tree to tree and listen to my own birds singing....little simple things I can enjoy as I learn to relax...not having that  "when will the next crisis come" mode of thinking.....i'm not so hyper alert anymore...there is a difference between normal caution and walking on cracked eggs so as to avoid a fight......No more waiting for the next bomb to go off...Its nice....I deserve this peace...Even tho I struggle financially working PT to supplement my SS, the money is MINE and yea, its tough being the soul supporter, but I get by...Today, I am OK....today, I also had fun, playing tennis and watching videos on the big screen, working out on my total body workout machine that really feels good after I am done......stuff I couldn't do back in those old days..........

mamalioness,
I live on disability and try to work part-time. I am single mom, grandmom. It is hard but I enjoy the peace and security that I have provided for myself. You have to work for it sometimes it but it is worth it in the end.