The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just got finished reading Tara's share which reminded me to return to my own recovery work which currently is reading the Titled Work ...Survival to Recovery. This is major work for me because it is about growing up in an alcoholic home which I have done and the book knows the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of what it was like "back then". My alcoholic/addicted families have pretty much passed on and the generations after I separated my self from after discussion with my sponsor years ago. He is also passed on and still within my spirit.
A cousin came to visit a week ago from my mother's sister's family and she wanted to know the family mostly the cultural side of the families and then there was no escaping the disease connection because it was everything and the horrible events which were real continue to take up space and time in the narrative. To try to leave them out would have me sitting mute, dumb as a stick. So its back into the book to read with my HP at my side and this family to help me understand that I am not alone when the memories of fear and pain rise again. I started and had to put it down for a while. ((((hugs))))
((Jerry F)) I have the book, for me I become very sensitive when thinking or talking about my FOO, I'm detached mind and body from them, but there are times I miss them like holidays and birthdays. Lovely share, thank you for your ESH, great book, I recommend it also, and your new avatar is beautiful :)
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- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
Thank you for your share, Jerry and the book recommendation as I am just now beginning to understand how alcohol played a role in the family of my upbringing.
Case in point: Recently in talking with my mother about my problems with my AH, I found out that when my mother was a child, her mother kicked her husband out due to alcoholism. I guess they had a successful chicken egg ranch that had to be relinquished due to his alcoholism. My grandmother was the bookkeeper. After they split, she got herself a job and raised 4 kids all on her own... this was back in the '50's. I guess it was all so hush-hush b/c my mom was raised Catholic and of course there was the stigma of the disease. My mom did tell me that she remembers that her father would send grandma $30.00 a month. Despite all his troubles and lack of employment, he never missed that payment. The reason this is enlightening to me is that I am in my 50's and I am just now learning about this!
Anyway, your post got me to thinking and I am now going to look up this book, so thank you!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Great new avatar Jerry - love the photo and the colors are magnificent!! In my FOO, alcoholism has been around since forever. There are many secrets still that confound me but I am the first generation in recovery and the only one of my peers. So - drunken 'events' and secrets are the perpetual norm in my family and I'm the outsider. I've come to accept that and still offer to be of service if/when I am nudged to do so from HP.
I love that book and haven't read it in a while. Possibly a suggestion from my 'brother' to pull it back out and do some added processing. One of my cousin's son's just got out of jail to go to treatment, got out of treatment and called me. I took him to a couple meetings and a fellowship event last weekend and now he's MIA....I am again reminded how destructive this disease is and am praying for him/his family.
I'm a bit sad today as one of my good Al-Anon friends left this morning to drive to CA. She's going to visit friends for a while and then is headed to your beautiful state to live close to her son. She's in her early 70s and is driving alone so I've been texting her and checking up on her during her journey. I will miss her dearly.
All I know, just for today, I am better in recovery than not. In spite of troubled times and hard events in life, I now can heal/deal because of our program. Grateful for all the tools, the fellowship and the world-wide fellowship of Al-Anon...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
