The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a craving for a travel adventure. I've been in one country for five whole years now and the feet are getting itchy. I've acquired a terrible relationship to money, where as soon as it runs in the door, I take it by the hand, and together we skip right back out the door humming, live for today, live for today, tralalala, oops we're broke. Sigh. It's really not cool.
It's on the priority list.
Hi A41 I can so relate. . For many years, as I adjusted to being a single soul supporting parent, I too rushed out spending money without concern for the future.. Working the steps enabled me to identify this destructive defect and ask HP for guidance as to proper use of money.
It Worked! I have been retired for over 15 years, and have traveled to many of my dream locations without going into debt. Although I have a partner,we share expenses 50-50 and I am pleased that HP has guided my way.
You have worked long and hard and I suggest you trust the process. HP never leaves us forsaken .
a4l, I am a single parent and money does not go to far. I have been trying to go on day trips to local places and that has been nice but I would love to go on vacation.
I can ditto that although my children tell me all the time we are the oxymoron of what poor people are like .. I have been blessed that whatever vacations they have gone on hasn't been on my dime. They have experienced a whole lot more than I could provide on my own. The biggest gift of my XAH being out of the picture is I have family who is my family of choice.
I have a similar relationship to money specifically with graduation looming as well as college .. UGH .. not looking forward to it however .. know it's a necessary evil .. LOL!!
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I feel like, and have felt for a while, that theres a heap of conditioning I need to shed. Money and my attitude towards it, is definitely some of it. Underneath I have a tendency to self sabotage. On the surface, this looks like, actively not thinking. Men, alcohol and shopping. I do them all the same way lol. Addictively. Sigh sigh big sigh. OK.
You know I was thinking .. I had a GF of mine who had big money issues .. she did the 12 steps on the money stuff and you know what .. she did very well for herself. When she started accepting herself where she was at she was able to get a better handle on herself. She was in a definite pattern of (she was fairly young at the time) allowing her parents to come in control the money and then when she went on her own it would spiral out of control again .. there was always so much guilt and shame associated with it.
Dave Ramsey has some good stuff and he's a legit guy with help on budgeting and relating money to self worth .. he wouldn't be a bad guy to check out though in regards to the money and budgeting. Then you can see how you feel when dealing with the over spending.
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Mwah! Thank you my Darling, I will certainly check that out. I tend to want adventures. It gets me into no end of teacup troubles which then drain years out of my life.
I'm right there with you and because I couldn't see past surviving in spite of the A there was no communication on planning financial things out and I was not in a place to plan on my own. I didn't have a job while we were together most of the time. If we had money it was gone and I was just as guilty as spending and over spending as he was of his legal issues that came at us from year to year. With my daughter going to college I know this is a big priority because it's all of a sudden hit .. I'm not getting any younger so I have to do something .. if nothing changes .. nothing changes. :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
A4L - I am a huge believer in step work for anything we become of aware of.......it's amazing to me how the step work shows us the habit and patterns that are causing the 'undesired outcome'. I know me well enough that if I am not on guard often, I can become obsessed with ANYTHING.....I consider myself to just have addictive tendencies - and good/bad - I can become obsessive with retail therapy, exercise, gym, meetings, softball, golf, saving, healthy eating....you name it, I've overdone it.
I did not know there was an overspender's anonymous! Good to know!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
. For many years, as I adjusted to being a single soul supporting parent, I too rushed out spending money without concern for the future.. Working the steps enabled me to identify this destructive defect and ask HP for guidance as to proper use of money.