The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page notes that worry and fear have the power to change our perception and obscure reality, to turn a neutral situation or statement into something threatening inside the mind.
Keeping focus on the present keeps the mind from running around in the future where worry and fear typically hang out. Trying to prepare for every potential negative outcome leaves us anxious and in a state of constant crisis, even though our worst fears often don't even come about.
AlAnon offers another way: remain in the present, turn worries over to a higher power, and draw strength from the program and fellowship. Hard work in recovery leaves us better able to deal appropriately with situations as they must be dealt with.
Today's Reminder: Today I can recognize the mind-altering power of worry and fear and not partake.
"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship." Louisa May Alcott
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Before I found AlAnon, I tried to have a contingency plan for everything, reviewed and revised them constantly, and would quiz others about theirs to do the same. Relaxing, enjoying the moment was a luxury I felt like I could not afford...I also had little peace or serenity in my life.
Despite my best planning, I still mangled situations as I tried to strong arm solutions by focusing my efforts on changing others, not myself. 90% of my effort was going to things over which I had 0% control.
In a case where physical safety is a concern, fear can be a valuable signal that should not be ignored. For me, however, it is simply my greatest character defect that, along with worry about the future, combine to be a real perception bender and serenity thief.
Taking one day at a time is a tool AlAnon pointed me to, and when I combine this with keeping the focus off other people, places and things I cannot control, peace and serenity are possible.
Very grateful for the wisdom of the program, and grateful every day for the service of our country's men and women of the armed forces, particularly today for those who have fallen while in service to our country.
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
This is a perfect reading for me today, so thank you! My sister and nephews are planning to come for a quick, 3-day visit from across the country. My oldest brother is having heart problems and I think they want to make sure they see him before anything horrible happens. I thought I would plan a "family party," and whomever wants to attend is welcome . The feedback I am getting from my siblings is that they dislike each other, and as much as I keep trying to get my family back together, I am causing a brother and a sister anxiety . They are suffering because I am still trying to control my family and force them into something they don't want to do. I am causing them discomfort and feeling trapped in the middle. I have decided just about a half hour ago, to cancel the family party. I can see them in small groups that they are comfortable being in. We can all relax and life is too short. It is only due to Alanon that I can make a decision like this. ODAT! Gratitude, Lyne
Thank you Paul for your service, the daily and your ESH. I too had contingency plans always - heck my contingency plans had contingencies. In looking back, it was beyond insanity and such an unpleasant way to live and spend my time.
I had my son and his children overnight and we had a couple of bumpy moments. I forget at times that my family suffers always from untreated alcoholism and blips will happen. What was improved for me is I did not have to react at all. I just sat there and even said out loud, You can be right - I'll be happy. He's been around recovery long enough to know the origins and that did not help his outburst.
I had to apologize as I considered my motives, they were not pure. Even when my response is measured, it isn't always correct and the program has brought me the growth necessary to make right what I can and to let the rest go. I still don't always understand how recovery works but I do know that when I did what is suggested and align myself with my HP and recovery actions, all things go better than before.
It's a beautiful day here and the sun is shining. I'm taking a break today as I've been busy since I got back on Wednesday. Grateful for a day to relax and do as little as possible. (((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
