The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page shares a member's comment about the hardest thing they had to do in recovery: stop trying to figure out why their qualifier acted in certain ways, or jump to conclusions about their motives. The comment is made that only God knows what goes on in the mind, so don't try to play God or psychiatrist.
Today's Reminder: From today on, I will examine my own motives and role in what is going on around me. When I do this honestly, I will find that I am not blameless, that there is a lot of work on me to do.
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Before AlAnon and recovery I wasted so much energy, effort, and agitation trying to make sense of things where sometimes there was just the disease. I unlovingly and unproductively tried to call my qualifier out on things in hopes that they would see my 'wisdom' and change to what I wanted or expected.
It is incredibly humbling to realize with the guidance and wisdom of AlAnon how much of my confusion and misery is the result of my own thoughts and actions. When I let it begin with me, there is more than enough to keep me busy, and the positive results are quickly noticeable in my serenity.
So grateful for the wisdom of the program
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Hi Paul, Great page and your share is filled with such Wisdom-- Thank you. i think all of alanon's principles and tools can be summed up by the slogan : "Let it begin with Me". Thanks for your service and have a good day.
I like the reminder in the title: Nobody knows but god, don't try to be god.
I got caught up in trying to control a bunch of things that were not mine to control, and I think it is safe to say that in some ways, I forgot that I wasn't god. In keeping my focus on myself, starting the work with me, I have found that the ripple effect in those around me is much more effective than anything I could have tried to cause intentionally.
Thank you for your Service, Paul! I hope everyone has a lovely day.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning all and thank you Paul for the reminder that God knows and he doesn't need my help. I don't know why it is so hard to stop trying to figure out what or why the alcoholic does what they do. If I saw someone showing the effects of alcoholism out in public I would no doubt say God Bless them and carry-on with my day. Why is my trust in God any different when it is a member of my family? Probably me needing more wisdom on accepting what I cannot change (God's Work ) and having the courage to change what I can ( myself).
So, so grateful for retiring my 'Chief Goddess of Everything Hat' when I got serious about recovery....what a gift to surrender all that worried and frightened me to a power great than me. This is an awesome page - thank you Paul and all for your shares and service.
I too wasted so much time/energy trying to fix, control, direct and change everything to meet my wants/needs (EGO)....it's a different and strange feeling to let go, yet it's been the best suggestion EVER for me. I am free now to be and do my best version of me without fear of judgment, etc. I answer only to one - that one is God - I am grateful he's driving now and I'm just along for the ride.
Great topic name - I lolol'd a bit!!
So - packing and preparing for my trip - goodness, why does preparing for a vacation feel like a move? I'm laughing at myself because I'm acting as if I will be on an island with no access to anything I forget!! *Sigh* - this reading helps me chill, just for today! Won 3 out of 4 games last night and am headed to golf shortly. Have dinner plans with a program friend and it's a great day for gratitude in my world.
Happy Monday to one and all - make it a great week!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
