The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning all and sorry for the late post of a daily reading! I've had little people spend the night again and it certainly changes up my routine. As I've heard - better late than never!
The reading discusses how many of us show up to Al-Anon obsessively focused on our alcoholic. We want the secret answer to fix them and have them stop drinking. We discover when we surrender that our success in our recovery depends upon letting go of the Alcoholic's drinking and/or sobriety. We must accept, as difficult as it is, that it's not our business no matter how much it may seem to affect our lives and destroy our happiness.
Change brings serenity, and change happens when we can focus on me, myself and I vs. all other people, places and things around us. If our alcoholic gets recovery, yay - bonus!!! However, we can find peace and serenity if we want it - no matter what they are/are not doing.
Today's Reminder -- I will stop wondering what to do about the alcoholic, and think about myself. What can I do to improve my life, to restore myself to full citizenship in the world? What are the shortcomings that are hampering me, and how can I rid myself of them? That is the crux of the Al-Anon program, and it really works.
Today's Quote -- "God, help me to accept my powerlessness over alcohol and it's effects. I will direct my efforts to improving the one life over which I do have power, my own." from Unknown
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I readily admit I came to Al-Anon wanting answers for my alcoholic. My ego was profoundly bruised when I heard that I was part of the problem, and I was powerless over what they did/did not do. I really thought they were crazy and I left returning to the 'show' trying to fix, control, direct, etc. with a set of dysfunctional tools.
I returned a bit later truly destroyed. I was exhausted, defeated and felt I had to surrender or I would not make it much longer. I was outwitted, outmaneuvered and outnumbered and it was literally destroying me one moment...one day at a time.
I left my ego checked at the door and listened with an open mind and open heart. I found a bit of peace in the ESH of others, realizing I was not alone. I felt a bit of hope in seeing their joy - genuine, pure and spontaneous. I felt I needed to try the program as designed to find me again and rid myself of my insanity.
I did, it works and I'm so grateful for the gifts of the tools, steps, literature, etc.....given freely to me and anyone who wants them. Make it a great, great day all - picking up toys and enjoying a lovely day in my world. I hope each of you have a lovely day in your world...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you so much for your service Iah, quite an accomplishment under the circumstances!
This is such a powerful page. If there is only one page of program literature I could read, this is it. It truly is the core of the program, and even notes that our success in AlAnon recovery comes down to one thing: accepting that our qualifier's recovery is none of my business. Applying this to all of my affairs, nothing outside of what I can control is any of my business and should not receive my effort to control or change.
When I look at times I feel my serenity slipping, it is most always when I reach outside of my circle to 'adjust the picture'. So simple, yet so challenging as my mind tries to disguise certain efforts in seemingly innocent, well-intended disguises. Grateful for the reminder....
Enjoy the fantastic Friday
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thank you for the reminder to focus on myself. The minute I start to poke my nose into others business (invited or uninvited ) I can feel my serenity slipping away quickly. Old habits die hard and it is a constant vigilance to stay on track. Particularly with my kids it has been a struggle to accept that it simply is not my business. I do not always know what is best and they will find their own way. I do see the improvement in my well being and our relationship when I stay in my own hula hoop.
Thanks all for your shares - I so agree this page really is a great go-to for strength and the reminders of how it truly works. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi I Thanks for your share as well as all the other responses. Powerful Indeed. Learning how to "MMOB" and Focus on myself has been a true gift of this program.
