Yesterday the A called me and told me he was in the hospital with a suspected heart attack. 

Now keep in mind that the A was sick most of last y ear and I footed all the bills for months on end.  Subsequently I had to go to the hospital and he did not even return my calls.  And keep in mind that I have been in this group for a while and detached a lot.

I think now that this was another A dramarama to get attention.  He told me they were keeping him in the hospital overnight.  He was in the hospital there is no question about as I called him there.  I went over to one of his friends houses and gave them the number for the hospital.  I think his friend is a fellow alcoholic because he is always drinking and I think that eats up all his money because he had no money to buy his cats food and asked me whether he could eat at my house.  That's the A's friends they have to be given to and rescued and attended to.  None of them ever ask how I am and I am sometimes at my wits end just dealing with the A and his chaos.

Eventually he came home and promptly polished off a lot of food.  I don't want to sound mean but if I had thought I had had a heart attack I think I would feel too anxious to eat. Then he got up this morning told me another bunch of lies after he asked me to have sex with him (who has sex after a heart attack?) and proceeded to have a huge tantrum this afternoon. 

If I ask for anything at all directions somewhere it is too much but I am supposed to drop everything for his heart attacks that I think were a ploy for attention really.  I might as well live with a 4 year old.

Now we are back to he is always working but has no money I lived that one for the last few years.  I am so tired of it. 

I am proud that I remained detached on so many levels, I did not rescue him. I did not go to the hospital and be florence nightingale (after all he is totally oblivious when I am ill on any level) and I did not agree to help him anymore.

On another level I am so tired of his typical responses and his complete inabilty to support me on any level.  He does not have a clue at all he just expects me to attend to his needs he has no interest in or even curiosity about my needs or my issues or how I am.  I have stopped even talking to him about what I am doing, where I am going or what my plans are. Why bother?  He is not interested.  I am glad that I am now able to detach enough to wait and see and do nothing (much) rather than fall into rescue mode again.

Maresie.