The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all, thank you for listening. I went to one meeting several months ago but I'm really struggling. A conversation with my husband today made me see that he still doesn't seem to think his drinking is a problem, and when I tell him I feel we're growing more and more emotionally distant and I can't see us continuing this way, partly because he won't really discuss his drinking, he doesn't agree.
I've given him a lot of space and patience, but because he seems to be more of a binge drinker or an emotional drinker than a classic alcoholic, he still doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. He does function fine usually, but this tension and the lies aren't a foundation for a marriage.
I have made a conscious effort not to issue ultimatums, but after today I am grieving the possibility that I may in fact have to leave for a while. I don't want to, but I have tried to work on my own issues in counseling and take care of myself, and I just don't think it's all my fault anymore or that I'm way out of line. We have access to free counseling through several avenues and he isn't interested in it. I'm just very sad today.
Welcome ladybug I second what Serenity has suggested. Please try to find additional meetings and attend. Learning how to keep the focus on myself, live one day at a time and having the courage to uncover many of my own unrealistic expectations and attitudes helped to restore my self-esteem and self-worth. Meetings did just that. I was then able to evaluate my marriage and make healthy decisions
I too send welcomes out to you ladybug....sorry for your pain and glad you found us and posted. I also encourage you to seek our local support and fellowship in meetings. This disease is progressive and affects just about everyone who lives with or loves an alcoholic. There is hope and help in recovery!! Keep coming back!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I also attend counseling. And I attend alanon meetings weekly. I will say I get way more out of the alanon meetings than the counseling. Having people to talk to that truly understand what I am going through is immensely helpful. And having that list of numbers where I can call or text someone when there is a situation I need help with is definitely better than an hour session with the counselor.
Hi Ladybug, welcome to MIP and thank you for sharing. I agree with those before me that attending face to face meetings, obtaining and reading alanon literature and returning back here will help you develop strong support. Please keep coming back!
