The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning, everyone. I've not been here in a bit - my life is, ummm, complicated (and really, really challenging) right now,. The saving grace is Al-Anon and the network and support it brings me. Don't know if I'd be functioning without it.
I have been asked to run an Al-Anon "Workshop" at a weekend AA retreat that includes "Al-Anon participation". This 90-minute sesession, which I'll be leading with another person who is both AA & Al-Anon, is the only Al-Anon event. It is basically intended be an intro of how Al-Anon came about and how the focus is on the members, not the alcoholic. That intro will be followed by a loosely structured Al-Anon meeting to allow for cross-talk.
This will be on May 13, and one thing I'd like to bring to the discussion is views from other Al-Anon members, which brings me to my query:
What would you like AA members to know about Al-Anon?
Any responses are welcome - misconceptions you think are out there, how Al-Anon has helped you in relation to your quailifier, etc. The intro will be stronger if I can include more than just my own observations, and I know there's a huge amount of experience here.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to any & all suggestions!
Best wishes to all -
Denizen
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"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Hi Denizen I have heard it said that AA members joking suggest that an alanon slip is defined a "one moment of compassion". I would like AA members to know that alanon members are at their lowest point, and that they are in extreme pain and are seeking support for their own issues.
There is an alanon pamphlet that would be helpful to hand out : 3 views of alanon" as well as the booklet Alcoholism the Family Disease and "So you love an Alcoholic". If you are going to present the History of alanon then Lois's story is essential. Good Luck I am sure it will be a great and informative meeting
Boy.....that's not an easy set of queries.....Off the top of my head, my first thought was nothing - there is nothing I want my As to know about Al-Anon. Why? Because I want them to focus on their own recovery and to leave my journey alone. In this data available stage of our existence, they can certainly find anything they want to know or are curious about through their own research.
As a double winner, I can openly say I never really knew much about Al-Anon while working on my recovery in AA. Having said that, one piece of information that helped me deeply was an Al-Anon member is as obsessed with the alcoholic (attitudes, behaviors, choices, actions, etc.) as they are about the substances. This was an eye-opener for me that helped me see my own overstepping, obsessions, attempts to control, etc. My A(s) called me crazy often before Al-Anon and I was deeply offended as I had the best of intentions....as I worked on the steps in Al-Anon, I came to conclude that they were right! I was crazy - more than I even knew.
I do believe many in AA believe that Al-Anon meetings are a huge bitch fest.....we show up and compare war stories of our As. As Betty suggests, any information that helps the A realize it's so not about them is helpful and insightful. In reverse, many Al-Anoners also believe As appear at meetings to bitch about their lives/wives and more. That's not true either.
Good luck with your efforts and your workshop!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
