The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
yesterday my neighbor moved out of her apt. Now, I know what ive seen with her...no judgment, I simply knew who she was.
Right after she left, I got a text message from her accusing me of siphoning electricity from her outlet in the basement and running up her light billm which I didnt do. I didn't respond and that felt right and good.
Today another text message saying she is upset I didnt respond. Something about fear and impulsivity caused me to respond. Mostly fear. I asked her if there was anything she wanted to ask me. I wanted to be treated with respect and decency.
i got myself sucked into her need to blame someone and she couldnot hear the decency I was trying to hint that I wanted,
getting into a conversation in text with her although I was brief and decent to her, landed me dominated. I didn't defend myself but as her if she collected all the facts before she fired off her message to me. I don't think she cared. I think she was including herself in my Landlord's desire to push me out of my apt so my landlord doesn't have to deal with fixing a mold issue here. Now that neighbor is moved out, it feels like she wants to join in.
in the end when told "Don't use my electricity!" I got angry and said "I will not tolerate this bulls--. Do not contact me again."
she is a gossip and will run to the landlord (they talk) and now I've given my landlord the one thing I have been so good at not doing, i made myself look bad/at fault, etc. the more people my landlord has who can say this the easier she can kick me out. These days, theres little accountability even in the courts. I'm scared.
why do we respond? Why can't we see through the blind spots?
-- Edited by WorkingThroughIt on Friday 28th of April 2017 07:36:17 PM
WorkingThroughIt,
What a strange thing to have to go through, it sounds like you handled it very well. I wonder why being quiet bothers people so much.
The age-old, time and memorial, never-ending...WHY...of course, we get the awareness, we see it, feel it, and know...but we do it anyway. So the question becomes...
Why do we respond? Because we want to. Yes, it's not that simple, but it is. No one forced you to. No one made you. No one. Me -- same same. Nobody forced me to reply. Nobody made me do it. I did...because I wanted to.
There is something within us, something about us, something going on inside of us...that makes us feel the want, desire, need, yearning, whatever you want to call it...to reply. To defend. To clarify. To be right. To be...keep going. It is about us. There are numerous things one can do to start and do this work where we look at us, and make change. Good luck.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
