The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i am needing advice; my husband was in rehab mid Sept - mid Nov.
was amazing when he returned home....
then started going bad, stopped attending meetings, soon i discovered he was grabbing a beer or two in way home from work.
causing tension as his guilt eating him up as he knows its upsetting me. so Monday after work he went grabbed 2 tall beers came back 10-15min later slighty drunk and said he done and left. havent seen him since. apparently hes mad he cant drink in our home. which was something we discussed and he asked for my support. i quit drinking 7mons sober and zero alcohol been in house as i promised to support him.
kids are devastated, not sure what to think or expect. i text him saying do not come here unless your sober.
is it normal for person to loose sex drive, completely? was on Fentanyl patch - now off. still on lyrica for nerve damage cymbalta for lower back pain. i had hoped he could go off those in rehab but they advised he shouldnt at this time.
hes really struggling feels very insecure and depressed.
i dont know how or even if theres anything i can do, to reassure him.
Big hugs in all of this stuff about your spouse I haven't heard anything of what you are doing for you during this time.
His recovery will be life long. I remember my XAH's mother looking at me (she was also an A) and making the statement well he went to rehab years ago they were suppose to fix all this. LOL .. umm .. no .. that's not how that works. It's unfortunate his dad who was also an A took the attitude that AA wasn't for him .. he also relapsed and hasn't come out of it since he went on a mid-life crisis in his mid 60's almost cost him his pension.
The best thing you can do for him and for you is to go to a face to face alanon meeting. I'm surprised they did not recommend that for your family during your AH's recovery period. I find there is nothing I can say to an active A to reassure or make them see the light at the end of the tunnel. I do have the option to take care of myself.
Best of luck and I hope you will take care of you .. happy healthy mom = well adjusted children.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Welcome jenn, I am sorry you are going through this. Alanon helps because members are people who have gone through similar situations with their loved ones. Have you tried to find a meeting in your town. Talking face to face with people is a great means of support. You can get a sponsor and there is a lot of good literature to read. It is great that you have not been drinking and you do not allow anyone to drink in your home. That is a hard boundary to follow through with. I take lyrica for nerve pain, but I would not feel comfortable saying all people on lyrica are this way or that way. It is really an individual thing. Nerve pain can be debilitating, and make your life miserable without the medications. Glad you found us, maybe someone else has more experiences with what you are going through, I just wanted to welcome you, and say hello.
-- Edited by shrnp on Friday 28th of April 2017 09:13:17 AM
(((Jenn))) - so sorry the disease is active and affecting you. It's so very hard to watch those we love self-destruct in front of us. When I have no idea what to do and how to help someone, I am reminded of the one thing that I can always do - pray. I have a long prayer list and I turn often to my HP as I do know what my own will does/causes....
Breathe easy and try to keep the focus on you and your children. I'm hopeful you're able to get yourself to meetings, and are using your program tools as best you can. I'm sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
((Jenn6)) welcome to MIP. I'm sorry things aren't going well. You received some great experience, strength and hope from above. I would like to add that we're powerless over alcoholism, so we learn to trust in a power greater than ourselves, that's what Al-Anon teaches us. Our lives have become unmanageable but through working our program we find peace and serenity, even in the chaos, because we learn self care by focusing on ourselves. Keep coming back, it does get better.
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- Carrie
Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'. Eckhart Tolle
