The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Although I've been active in Al-Anon for a couple of years and my life is fairly serene now, I'm amazed that I keep getting new insights. I wanted to share my latest one with this wonderful forum.
I was just reading an article about various approaches to treating alcohol use disorder. The article had this to say about our program. Where it says "AA" I would include Al-Anon:
"AA, like no other approach, offers an understanding and spiritual dimension that encourages forgiveness of self and others."
The light-bulb for me was two words: understanding and forgiveness. I think that is it, in a nutshell! It was heartwarming to me to see this written in literature outside of our program.
I remember the understanding I felt when attending my first meetings. When I shared what was going on in my life, the faces in the room said -- without words -- "we know."
I had a lot more trouble with forgiveness. When I heard others sharing that they had forgiven the alcoholics in their lives I was SHOCKED! I thought, "How could they forgive??? Those people hurt them, disrespected them, neglected them, made their lives chaotic .. Etc. etc. " I didn't imagine that I would forgive, because at that moment I was just surviving. Eventually, through learning and opening my mind to other possibilities, I came to believe that I could forgive others by releasing them from the debt they could never repay. And that I could forgive myself for having defects.
We have a book How Al-Anon Works (which I love), but to me these two words -- understanding and forgiveness -- explain why it works.
Love the share Freetime - thanks for bringing it to us here!!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Freetime. I too had a little difficulty with "Forgiveness" until I realized that to hold on to the pain and anger was only hurting myself and so 'forgiveness made sense all around. Great share.
"I came to believe that I could forgive others by releasing them from the debt they could never repay. And that I could forgive myself for having defects."
Yes! when more and more I found myself saying, "I am that too," forgiveness just happened, I never really "worked" at it, never really made a decision to forgive, it seemed to happen as "the result" of working the 12 steps.
And then they'd talk about "gratitude" for the whole alcoholic experience.... that was another conçept I never thought I'd live to understand.
Awesome share, thank you.
-- Edited by 2HP on Monday 24th of April 2017 08:48:05 PM
