The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My big sister died. Het body finally succoming to a lifetime of alohol abuse.
She died alone with her family not knowing until days after....We knew it would end badly and I'd grieved for a sober big sis so many times. I sincerely thought, because of years of grief, the loss of her would not be so painful. It's heart-wrenching. Have four other sibs, one of which is an active alcoholic and a mother of 86yrs, who has recently detoxed from her own addiction. I'm a recovering alcoholic of 18yrs and have used Al-Anon over the years to help me cope with addiction of family members. The lack of control over the destiny of my family members, has been the most difficult aspect of sobriety. I always try to stop the train wreck, only to estrange myself from sibs and other relatives who care not/able not....I hate addiction.
((Jennifer)) I am so sorry to read of this sad outcome. I understand the pain of losing a loved one to this dreadful disease, so please stay close to program as you are not alone.
Welcome to MIP Jennifer - glad you found us and glad that you shared. I too send my condolences for the loss of your sister. I also hate the disease often and hear you. Congratulations on your own sobriety - we never know the hearts we touch....while you might feel helpless and hopeless regarding your own family, I'm quite certain your program and sobriety helps others - that's just how it works!
I agree - lean into your program and keep coming back here....we're a great large family and we do understand the damage and chaos caused by the disease.
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Jennifer~OMG, one of the worst things we can imagine has happened to you. I am so very sorry. I live with the gut feeling that my spouse will die early because of her alcohol and food addiction. Now at age 64, she is more sickly and having trouble walking, but that doesn't stop her self-abuse. I have been in Alanon for almost 4 years, trying as best I can to be less sick myself. Sometimes I feel better at it than others. But I have had this gut feeling about my spouse for years, and won't be surprised at all, if I write a post like your's. And I will feel devastated too, for what should have been, and wasn't. I have stopped trying to fix her, because I can't. I can imagine how you feel. Lyne
So sorry to hear about your loss of a loved one,
I to can relate ,I lost a brother age 37 to suicide ,13 yrs ago,related to this dreadful desease also.
Congrats on your sobriety ,,,,,,,Lu
Jennifer - my heart goes out to you and your family. This horrible family disease has taken so many people and ruined so many lives. We who find the programs are the fortunate ones. I hope you can also start getting to face-to-face meetings to get both support and hugs.
I am sorry for your loss, Jennifer. Be extra kind and patient with yourself.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
This truly is a family disease.
Prayers for you and your family - keep your favorite coping techniques close.
When my brother died of this, unexpectedly I found comfort in my mixed-up family. Go figure! Whatever it takes, right
In support during this very difficult time
