The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tonight I couldn't help myself. My AH called around the time he was supposed to be home to say "oh still at the office having an important meeting" (yes like almost every night, and these meetings are always at a bar) - he swore up and down he was still at the office and not a bar. Annoyed I moved on, but then he butt dialed me - I listed to 10 minutes of rowdy bar background noise and I thought "finally I can make my point, that he was lying" - so stupid of me, I should known that even if something is red he will say it's blue. He is big on gas lightning and he went in about I was completely wrong and no idea what I was even talking about. He started trying to pick a fight and he took money out of our account to "get my attention" and now he has disappeared - I immediately stopped engaging after he took the money, so I am happy about that. It's so hard, it's so hopeless. the lying and the gas lighting used to make me crazy, but all your stories have really helped me to see that it's a waste of energy and I know the truth and that is where I can find peace. Anyway, I just needed to vent. Still scrambling to find a way to get to f2f meetings. Soon I hope. Thanks for all the support on here.
That is insane and I also send thoughts and prayers to help light the way to the meeting. Getting to the meetings for me early on when I didn't like the program and/or the people in it was a Miracle In Progress because as I sat and listened with an open mind I got healed so well. Keep coming back cause this works when you work it. ((((hugs))))
I'm also sending you positive thoughts Vicki - the meetings truly saved my sanity and my soul!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hey it takes time but time you do have to help YOU. We all do what think is right at the time and again and again we are disappointed. upset and down right sick.
I found my son wasn't doing what he was doing to hurt me.....he was very sick and had to do what he needed to do for him. His illness didn't afford him the where for all to be respective of others. Yeah when he was sober enough he would try and make it right but it just didn't happen. He had to lie, steal and cheat and at the same knowing and hating himself for it.
Just keep moving forward and love yourself, take time for you and let go with love.
(( hugs ))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
