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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New to the program, not the disease
Post Info TOPIC: New to the program, not the disease
MissKid


Newbie

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New to the program, not the disease
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Hello all!

I am 53 and have been in relationships with A's my whole life. It started with my father, then mother and step father. My first marriage was to an emotionally unavailable man (I was pregnant.)

My second was to a momma's boy. My third to the very definition of an addict. I, too, tend to have an addictive personality and all the traits of people living with addicts. I currently live with an addict. the situation was supposed to be boyfriend/girlfriend. But after moving in, I realized that this man too was emotionally unavailable and an A. He is now in rehab and will be coming home in a few days. I am very nervous. I have looked up Al-anon meetings in my area, but have never had the nerve to go to one. I am depressive/anxiety. I have a very hard time starting new social situations. I know very little of the program. could anyone recommend a web site that describes the steps and what they mean? This is an extremely complicated relationship. I almost moved out before he went into rehab. Now, I am staying because of guilt (was it me who did this? If I leave, who will take care of him?) Fear (will I be ok on my own? what will the family think of me?) and a sense of duty. I love this man, but am not IN love with him. I am also tired of dealing with addicts and alcoholics. I know you do not give advice, so pointing me in the right direction will be most appreciated.



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hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome MissKid   As you  know alanon is a recovery program for family and friends of alcoholics  It was established by the wife of the founder of AA when she discovered that she had developed many negative coping tools as the result of interacting with the disease and needed to recover .   Face to face meetings are held in most communities  and it is here that I learned to keep the focus on my own life, uncover my negative attitudes , and  replace them with constructive responses,

We have on line meetigns her 2xs a day in the chat room and a Step workBoard that will provide inormation on the  Steps ,

Here are the links:

 http://stepworhttp://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763

http://al-anon.org/how-al-anon-works-for-me

Keep coming back there is hope and help



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
shrnp


Senior Member

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Posts: 484
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Hello Misskid,
Welcome to Miracles in Progress. I can relate to what you are going through. I am an adult child of an alcoholic, and I have had more than one relationship with an alcoholic. I use to drink myself, but I have been in recovery for 13 years. It is hard to be around someone else's addictions. Watching them can be very disturbing. It became a lonely lifestyle for me even though I had a lot of friends. I have found that in Alanon I am not alone. Glad you are here, and keep coming back.We have an online meetings at 9 am and 9 pm. EST.

www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

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Sharon 
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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Welcome to MIP Misskid - glad you found us and glad that you jumped right in....You can also go to the main 'official Al-Anon site' (google) and find stories and more information about how it works and what it's about...

I will send positive thoughts your way for your fear/anxiety about new social settings. Meetings made a huge difference in my program as I found 'my people' - others who really understood and listened without judging me or offering advice.

There is tons to read here too - browse around, get familiar and keep coming back. There is hope and help in recovery!

(((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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