Sorry if this is long. I am sitting here alone another night. I posted last week, but my AH and I had a particularly bad week last night, he was drinking every night and didn't come home after work a few times and then Friday he stayed out until 6:30 in the morning doing god knows what. He missed a family outing we planned with my brother, SIL and nephew because he was asleep all day (I still went with my daughter). Later on Sunday my daughter got into some nail polish in my desk drawer - obviously not good but she was fine (she spilled it on herself) but he really used it to come after me "see we both make mistakes" - I was really not in the mood to be critized by him and he felt I wasn't sufficiently apologetic to him which led to him stonewalling/lashing out at me for the next few days. One of the things he said to me was "this is why I don't come home" - about my "pridefulness and coldness" - I just feel browbeaten - he says I am so cold and removed. I am not a cold person and I forgive and forgive and move on all the time and I am not as "in love" with him as I once was I am still kind and open hearted. I know it's a way for him to blame me for his drinking. Then he goes back to the old script about how we both need to try harder. I have seen other stories where a's are accuse people around them of coldness. What do you do about it? I don't want to defend myself and get involved with justifying myself. I guess I just let it go? It's so hard because part of me still sees the normal marriage underneath the drinking problems and I want to try to meet his needs better - but it doesn't seem possible these days without sacrificing myself. Thanks for listening.