The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i am going away for two nights. by myself. leaving my ABF home alone. i know this bothers him even though he understands it and doesn't begrudge me the need for quiet time away. neither of us have gotten away in a long time.
i think it's healthy to have some space and independence in a relationship. i was always this way (partly thanks to choosing commitment-phobic men). he is not this way (addict personality, all or nothing him).
i NEED it. personal retreat... quiet, reading, reflection. change of scene. away from daily responsibilities, away from the mess that is my desk. away from the guilt of not spending more time with my father who's near me, but already mostly gone due to alzheimer's. and away from my partner, still struggling to get back on his feet, find employment, lift his barely-there self-esteem. away from our domestic differences, which sometimes (to ME) feel like they're a threat to our relationship, or at least to our cohabitation.
i may have found a sponsor. doing a two week get-to-know-you call-in-daily thing. so far, so good. this is my third try. i felt burned by my previous attempts and find it difficult to approach a stranger and then hope that we are a match.
i'm hopeful, but will accept whatever it turns out to be.
I have zero regrets I took some time and it got things rolling again communication wise so that's very positive. As far as the sponsor went it took me 3 attempts and I finally got the right yes .. So don't be discouraged. My sponsor passed away last year and it's been a terrible loss I miss her wisdom as well as her friendship. It was a wonderful lesson for me of acceptance and unconditional love. Kerri coming back.
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
((junenine)) Good job in taking care of yourself. Positive thoughts and prayers going out to you .I am pleased that you have continued to seek a sponsor and understand that it is a process. Good Luck . Let us know how it works out .
I support you for taking a break and hope that it's a lovely way to jump start your next chapter....Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll get where he wants you to go. Sending you tons of positive thoughts and prayers for a lovely, spiritual and peaceful break!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
