The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page describes searching for something in a dark room without turning on a light, or turning down a car or train ride when we are late for a destination. The author compares these decisions to trying to deal with alcoholism in a loved one alone, without a higher power or AlAnon wisdom.
Do we blame the darkness for our struggles? Don't we carry responsibility for tardiness if we turn down vehicles that could have gotten us where we need to be? Turning down the help of the program or not using it to its full potential would be similar.
Reminder: Today I will use the best tools available when confronting a challenge, those used successfully by many others before me; I will use AlAnon wisdom as a guide toward serenity.
"Unless I love my martyrdom and cling to it, I need not be alone in freeing myself from whatever troubles me." - Anonymous
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I have turned down help from a variety of sources in my life, some in full awareness, some out of ignorance of how much it would help me. AlAnon asked me to be willing to try a different way, a different set of tools, and the guidance of the program and a higher power.
I am still learning how to use the new tools, but I can say that my poorest attempts at wielding program methods is better than my best efforts when on my own...quite humbling. There is hope, there is help, we are not alone. So grateful for the program
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I had to laugh about the looking for something in the dark. I was literally doing that this morning, and frustrated that I didn't see something that was out of place before I stubbed my toe on it. And, as I was grumbling, I thought, "If I had just taken the extra few seconds to turn on the light, I would not be grumbling now." Of course, at the time, I thought I knew what I needed to get and where it was, so it seemed silly to take the extra time to turn on the light when I was already running late.
My journey with Alanon is a lot like that. It took me a long time to admit that I was wandering around in the dark and needed the program to support me. It took me a long time to realize that the tools I was using were broken, and that there was a better way. Now, I remind myself that taking the time to get to meetings is worth the investment, also when the house isn't clean and I am running late, because not living with the program is like not turning on the light switch, and that is going to cause me more pain and frustration in the long run.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning Paul and Skorpi (glad to see you back posting your wisdom ) Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this important reading. Before program , I too believed that I had all the answers, that my way was the right way and that reach out for help indicated weakness and indecision. When I finally hit my bottom and realized I could not do it alone, I found the rooms of Al-Anon and am so very grateful that they welcomed me. I was allowed to sit in the rooms without speaking with nobody gave me advice except for the suggestion that I keep an open mind and keep coming back. I di just that because I felt so much better while I was in the meeting rooms.
Learning how to keep an open mind was certainly an interesting experience. I didn't realize how closed my mind was until I attempted to" listen to learn" and process new ideas. I began to attempt to implement the ideas and slogans that I heard at the meetings but my negative attitudes kept telling me they were silly and a cliche . Finally after a short time I discovered that my attitudes from growing up in an alcoholic home were distorted. My conclusions and observation incorrect and that I needed a whole new set of tools in order to survive in this world.
How grateful I am that Al-Anon provided these tools!!! In the beginning I thought that they were cliché-ish and not for me, but keeping an open mind and being willing to try new ideas, I began to use the slogans and found that very powerful and beneficial to everyday living.
I no longer walk around in the dark. Now that I have the" Al-Anon flashlight", Thanks to HP, I can see clearly now and connect with courage serenity and wisdom.
Thank you for your service Paul and I hope you have a lovely day
Good morning Paul, Skorpi and Betty and thank you for Today's Reminder and ESH. A few mornings ago I was in doing a little touch up to me hair in dim light when my RAH walked by and commented " You might see better if you turn the light on and put your glasses on" I replied ...not sure if I want to see what's in the mirror. Reading today's share I thought this is kind of how I felt when I first attended Alanon...afraid to see myself. Thankfully it wasn't as bad as anticipated. People understood and listened, validated my feelings with kindness. Alanon is always first on my gratitude list. Love the idea of the alanon flashlight Betty, just have to remember to turn it on:)
Good morning all and Paul - thanks for the daily and your service. Thanks to all of you for your shares. As I consider this page and look backwards, I believe many times I tried to 'go it alone', I was in full denial of my level of martyrdom....*sigh* - a part of me felt I would only be successful if I did it alone!!!
I am so grateful that Al-Anon helps us see how we can do/be different. I still want to be private and resist asking for help, but I've gotten tons better. I am amazed every time that when I pause long enough to consider choices, my journey is much simpler when I ask for help or add the extra step (turn on the light)....I still wonder why I have to make simple things complicated as I do tend to want to overthink, over-analyze and over-do....learning that progress is the 'win' instead of perfection does calm me down often.
Rainy day today - off to a meeting and who knows what else if anything....this is a great day for napping in my area - might fit that in!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Skorpi, Stan, Betty, and Iamhere for sharing on this topic...great to look at our journey and progress in recovery.
I'm with you Stan, it was almost overwhelming at first when my program helped me to begin to see how far I needed to go to get where I needed to get. One day at a time is so important, it's what got me to today...yes, that slogan sounded silly to me at first, too, but like everything else, worked well once I began to use it.
Great nap day, indeed! Haha, I missed out on that one, but hearing the roll of thunder and the pounding rain is a soothing way to wrap up my day. Hope you got yours in and a great day otherwise
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
