The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author describes going to a meeting in a negative mood, evident by noticing the faults in what fellow members said and did. In the spirit of keeping the focus on ourselves, the member looked to change their attitude.
To do this, they remembered the purpose of AlAnon: find help, enlightenment, and ways to improve our quality of life. If we look for it, there is something in every meeting that will help us along our journey of recovery.
Today's Reminder: Remember that we attend meetings to learn, not to practice picking out flaws; I will try to find the good in others.
"I have learned silence from the talkative; tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. I should not be ungrateful to those teachers." - Kahlil Gibran: Sand and Foam
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I generally like things by the book, structured, and can tell when my mindset is negative when I attend a meeting and find my focus is on the perceived faults of others: a share was too long, went off topic, has nothing to do with the program...was that crosstalk?
This Saturday I thought I was in a good frame of mind, but that's where I found my focus during the first half of the meeting. I was able to turn it around in the second half, but it would have been faster if I would have recalled this page.
I love the quote; any of the things I noticed could have been an opportunity for me to examine myself and review my contributions to the meeting. I could have been thankful each member has a place to come to and find some relief and fellowship after a long week of challenges, the severity of which I have no idea.
So grateful for the reminders to keep the focus on me and curb the tendency to find fault with others
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I like this reading, and it is always a good reminder for me. I joke that I have a special talent for finding a problem and making it my own.
I found myself at my meeting yesterday really wanting to "fix" a problem for one of the younger participants at the meeting. Alas, I cannot. And, I should not, because that would prevent growth. The only thing I can do is show up, listen, share from my own perspective, and offer kindness.
This reading helped me today to bring my focus back on myself and my recovery, and focus on what I am going to do for myself to make my life better.
Thanks for your Service and sharing, Paul. I hope you have a lovely day.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning Paul and Skorpi and thank you for you ESH. Lately I too have found that sometimes I'm not only not truly listening to what the speaker is saying , I find myself interrupting. Hate when I 'm like that because it's not only rude but me in the " I know your problem and I want to fix it mode". Truth is I need to just be quiet, Listen and Learn and mind my own business :)
Good morning Paul ansd Skorpi , thank you for sharing your thoughts on this very important reading in the ODA T. I know when I first entered program,my attitudes were filled with judgment and criticism and I was forever looking for the obvious faults in any situation. I had no idea how to keep an" open mind "and to suspend judgment so that information can enter and I could process. What a gift that simple attitude change has been!!!!
Learning how to let information in, so that my mind could consider it and process it before I rejected the idea has enabled me to grow and live life on a different plane. The reading also points out that if we look for the good in every situation we will learn because no matter what is said or done there is a lesson to be learned
I also like the quote from the;"Sand and Foam". learning silence from the talkative and tolerance from the intolerant is really a great gift. I think that before program I judged people harshly and did not absorb the fact that the being tolerant was more powerful and constructive, than intolerance and kindness more important than the negative ability of judging and condemning.
Thank you for your service and I hope you have a lovely day.
Thanks Paul for your service and the daily.....thanks to all above me for your ESH! I have NEVER (BR - before recovery) spent much time listening....I was always preparing my response or sitting in judgement of the words, the person, their thoughts, etc. Boy ... oh ... boy - recovery truly helped me see how my ego truly stood between me and the priceless gift of serenity!!!
Each time I go to a meeting, I sit for a few seconds and ask God to help me keep an open mind and heart AND to hold my hand during the meeting. I've done this for a long while as my old patterns began the minute I got out of the car. I noticed dirty cars, better cars, worse cars, and then the people, clothes, hair, etc. My patterns of comparing/competing came from FOO and began at home with my siblings....very, very hard to change up - steps/program help.
I too love the quote - one thing I've noticed as I've aged - I don't always know what I want (food, movie, outing, etc.) but I do often know what I don't want because of past experiences. I see often now how everything I have experienced has been a lesson of learning love/tolerance.
Hope today's been great for all - playing catch up....with my quad sore, I am not nearly as 'fast' as usual so my chores and other take a bit more time!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
